Skillset

by Toku on Skillset

How to Inspire Your Team to be Extraordinary

If you want to do something epic, you can’t do it alone. You need a team of inspired individuals working towards a common goal. But how do you create this team?

To create an amazing team you have to understand the two stories that run through every relationship. Mostly when you think about your goals you see them in the context of your story. You’re here and you want to go there.

You ask how an employee can help you, a partner can get investors, or an assistant can add to your capacity. But you forget about the stories of your partners and team members. They are telling a story about their own lives and you’re not the main character.

If you can master the art of telling your stories together, you can create a team that not only does the work, but lives in the realm of passion where epic things are born.

How To Inspire An Epic Team

1. Understand Their Dreams

To create an epic team you have to understand how each person’s story relates to the stories of everyone else.

This means taking the time to get to know their strengths, but also their hopes, dreams, and fears. Don’t just ask them where they see themselves in five years, ask them what they like to do, and what they’re passionate about.

Once you understand what they want to create, you can begin to weave your stories together in a way that feeds your powerful partnership.

2. Share Your Vision

Understanding their dreams is just the beginning. If you want to create an epic team you have to share your vision as well. Let them see your passion and how much you love this work, share with them how your collaboration could benefit both of you, and make sure they know you want them to go after their dreams, as they help you go after yours.

Don’t hold back or be shy. Amazing people want to work for leaders who inspire them and call them to do their best work.

3. Teach Them About Respect

Teach your team to value respect over recognition by relating it directly to their dreams. Share how you’ve had to earn respect and be guided by an internal compass in order to gain the courage to follow your path.

Help them let go of the need for recognition that keeps them hooked on the drug of extrinsic motivation. Instead, teach them how to create respect in your relationship and for themselves. Share with them not only how this respect helps your business but the pursuit of their own dreams as well.

4. Help Them Grow

Sometimes leaders increase responsibility as a way to increase growth, but this is a blunt tool for a subtle job. Don’t just increase their responsibility, increase their capacity.

Think about each member and what would help them grow as a person and as a teammate. Think of this person like a consulting client or a trusted mentee, what could you do to help them become everything they are capable of being?

Buy them books that would help them grow. Ask them about their personal passion projects. Show them that you are just as invested in them as you are in your business.

5. Make It Fair

You can usually find someone on the cheap end to work for you. But if you want to have an epic team you have to pay people what they’re worth and treat them right. Don’t over pay people to try to make up for your faults as a leader, but don’t underpay them either.

Pay them like professionals and let them know why. Let them know that you want to pay them what’s right because you want them to show up and do the kind of work that will make them proud.

6. Help Them Understand The Impact of Their Work

You know that success isn’t just about doing things right, it’s about doing right things.

Don’t just track what your team does well, track the effect of their work. Help them understand how their efforts affect your team and the business as a whole. Let them see the significance of their work, because in that will inspire them to create significance in their lives as well.

You know that success isn’t just about doing things right, it’s about doing right things.

7. Don’t Just Work With Them, Collaborate

If you’re only focused on your story it’s easy to slip into the habit of micromanaging or coming up with solutions for every problem. But if you expand your mindset to include your team’s story, it’s clear they need to do more than listen.

Instead of just offering solutions, offer opportunities for collaboration. Work on solutions together even when you think you might know the right answer. This will teach them to think for themselves as well as solve problems in their own lives.

8. Trust Your Team

Tracking progress is a good idea, but don’t become obsessed with measuring every action your team takes. Your team needs to know that you trust and believe in them.

When you give your team a tough assignment don’t just tell them why it’s important but why you trust them with it. Show your team you rely on them and they will feel inspired to rise to that level of trust.

9. Invest In Yourself

Be open about how you’re working to improve yourself as a leader. Don’t just push your team to grow, show them how you’re growing yourself. They’ll be more likely to admit their mistakes as well as forgive you for yours.

10. Know When It’s Time To Let Go

Only work with a member of your team so long as it serves both of your interests. If the job doesn’t challenge them or ask them to grow, it’s either time to redefine the scope of work or encourage them to find another opportunity.

One of the biggest mistakes leaders make is trying to keep good people too long. No partnership is forever, so pay attention to when it’s time for your stories to separate and make the ending a good one.


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by Toku on Skillset

Overcoming Your Favorite Excuse

Everyone has a favorite excuse. Except normally you call them reasons.

Here are some of the ones I hear most often:

  • It will make things too complicated
  • It’s hard to find good help
  • I’ve never done it that way
  • I’m doing everything I can
  • But this is what got me here
  • That’s just how things are
  • This is just the way I am

It feels good to make these excuses because they let you off the hook. The problem is they also prevent you from seeing the blind spots and hidden opportunities within every obstacle.

Luckily working to overcome your excuses is pretty simple (though not always easy). The trick is to notice whenever you’re using one of your favorite excuses and look closer at what’s really going on.

Finding Your Favorite Excuses

Think about the things you say most often about yourself and your business. Think about the complaints you make on a regular basis. Think about those little things that always seems to be getting in the way.

Make a list in your head or on a piece of paper.

Looking Deeper

Every time you catch yourself using one of these excuses: Stop. Take a deep breath. Let out a sigh.

Now look at what’s actually going on:

  • What if this wasn’t true?
  • What if this wasn’t the way you were?
  • What if you could get what you want, without having to do what you did before?

Dispute your excuses like a college debater, like a lawyer arguing in front of the supreme court, like Mario fighting Bowser in the final castle. Push them until you see them for what they are, the comforting stories that keep you from revealing the truth.

Pretty soon your favorite excuse may become the reason you discovered something new.


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by Toku on Skillset

How To Create Deep Connections

You need other people. Not because you’re a needy little wimp, but because humans evolved as pack animals. We lived for thousands of years in tribes. Small tight knit communities of less than 150 people all working together to hunt wildebeests and fight off tigers.

Everybody you’d ever know, marry, make babies,  and get into fights with were part of that 150 people.

While it may have been a bit claustrophobic for some, it did prime us to need deep and meaningful connections.

Now this is the part where normally I, as the insightful and witty author, talk about how the modern world has ruined connection and tell you about Facebook damaging the word “friend” that it’s all but meaningless. But instead let’s just skip all that and talk about how you can build tribe level connections with people in your life.

Here is how I have formed the most deep connections in my life:

1. Tell The The Truth. Most of us talk on a surface level most of the time, and that’s fine for people with whom you don’t want to connect. But if you want to create real connections you have to say something real. This means you have to be honest. With yourself and with the other person. Being honest doesn’t mean being a jerk, but it does me showing up and saying what’s actually going on with you and the world you live in.

4

2. Ask good questions and then actually listen. Learn to ask really good open ended questions and then listen closely to the answers.

Don’t just wait for your turn to talk. Take the time to really listen to what someone is saying. Take the time to reflect it back, to be clear on who this person is and what they care about.

Become a master at asking and listening and you will create powerful connections with those around you.

3. Spend extended periods of time with people. We tend to interact with people in 10 – 30 minute chunks and that really isn’t enough time to get to know someone.

Instead make plans for a long slow hang*. When I say long and slow that’s what I mean. Shoot for spending 2 – 4 hours or more of relatively unstructured time with someone.

If you do this you’ll get to experience much more of who someone really is. You’ll begin to relax in their presence and that’s when the walls start to come down.

4. Do stuff for people. Always be asking the question, “How can I help or how can I be of service?” Not directly but to yourself. Asking someone how to help them is nice, but it’s hard to answer.

Instead, if you notice a way to help, either just do it or offer it to them. Ask yourself, What would I like in this situation? What would help me if I was in there shoes? and offer to do that.

Deep connections are built on service. Not on horse trading.

5. Be continuously vulnerable. The big key to deep connection is stepping into vulnerability again and again. When you’re vulnerable your connection ports are open, but when you’re guarded they’re not. So be open and vulnerable whenever possible.

Share what you’re scared of, what your hopes are, what you’re struggling with, your faults of character. And also listen to your friend’s problems and complaints without judgement or advice. Simply hear them, witness them, and hold them in your attention.

This is scary, but it’s also worth it. Step into vulnerability and your connections will deepen.

 

Thanks to Keith Ferrazzi’s book *Who’s Got Your Back for the idea of the Long Slow Hang.

 
by Toku on Skillset

The Only Diet Ever (Seriously)

There are many things you can do that can change your life, but diet is one of the most powerful. While mindfulness can change the composition of your mind, your diet can literally change the composition of your body.

But choosing the right diet is hard. Which one is the best? Which one is the safest? Which one is right for me?

I’ve experimented with dozens of diets and helped people lose tens of pounds. Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. All weight loss diets are based on the Less Than Principle.

To lose weight you need to eat less than you burn. It’s that simple.

Diets can be quite complicated and some are actually more effective at helping you lose weight for all sorts of weird reasons, but on the most basic level a diet will help you lose weight if you eat fewer calories than you burn. Burning more calories will help, but finding a way to eat fewer calories is actually more important, because it’s much easier to eat too much and much to hard to burn it off.

2. Eating healthier usually means eating less calories.

What do I mean by healthier? I mean leafy greens or non starchy veggies. I mean more variety. I mean more real food and less processed stuff.

The truth is that if you simply eat more veggies, more grown-in-the-earth food, you will be healthier. You’ll also likely lose weight.

Yes you can gain your weight while eating these foods, but usually when people add more veggies and reduce starchy or high sugar foods they lose weight.

3. Don’t believe your eyes.

You suck at estimating what a good portion is, but then again so do I. Our brains are wired to deliver hunger cues based on sight, which is why we eat more hot wings if the bones are taken away. If you leave the bones,  we eat less.

This is also good news, because you can trick your brain. Simply ask for things on small plates or put them in smaller containers. Give yourself visual cues that tell you you’ve eaten a lot and you will eat less. You won’t believe me but it’s true. It’s crazy but it works, just give it a shot.

4. Only lifetime changes really work.

It doesn’t really work to go on a crazy short term diet. You will most likely gain more weight in the long run than lose on these diets.

Instead, get regular exercise and eat healthy foods. It’s that simple. Eat vegetables, lots of them. Don’t eat too many starchy, sugary foods.

Understand that you will have to change your lifestyle if you want to change your health. Temporary changes can get you to a new weight, but it’s the lifetime changes that make a difference.

The good news is you will get used to this and eventually love it.

5. Your tastes change.

My favorite food used to be pasta, but now it’s kale. I know kale, right? What kind of asshole’s favorite food is kale? Me. I’m that asshole. And 10 years ago I would never had predicted it. But then I started eating healthy and I started liking it.

You like to think you are your tastes, but your tastes change all the time. You used to hate coffee now you love it. You used to think whiskey tasted too strong, and now you’re all like “Yeah that’s a good bourbon.”

Your tastes change. Get over yourself! (and eat some kale.)

2

There is no perfect diet.

Diets are like dictators. You exchange your will for the will of the diets. But that won’t work for long. There is no perfect diet for you or for anyone.

Instead you have to try things out and find out what works best for you. Maybe it’s calorie tracking, maybe it’s an elimination diet or maybe you should just relax and buy more veggies, fewer sodas and try to slowly, change your diet over time.

 
by Toku on Skillset

How To Go Minimalist With Fulfillment

Minimalism is the practicing of having only what is essential to you and your life.

It isn’t a competition to have fewer things or an aesthetic practice which dictates you wear the same underwear for a month. A lot of people look at minimalism this way, but at it’s core it’s very simple. Minimalism is the practice of noticing what is extra and letting it go.

Why is minimalism so important for having a good and mindful life? The less things you have to pay attention to, the more attention you have.

You can certainly keep track of a lot of things, thoughts and ideas, and still be mindful, but the more you keep track of them, the less depth you have with each item, idea, and person. Minimalism is a practice that helps you find out what’s important to you and what’s not. It then helps you pay more attention to the former by helping you let go of the latter.

My simple, straightforward suggestions on how to live minimally:

1. Practice letting go of things. It doesn’t matter if you sell your home and move into a tiny trailer or just clean a few clothes out of your closet. The essential practice of minimalism is the practice of letting go of stuff.

Most of us have more than we need and we actually know that there is stuff we should get rid of, but we hold onto those things because passively holding them seems easier than actively letting go.

Holding on may seem easier, but it comes at a slow and insidious cost. Letting go takes time, energy, and emotion, but the cost is less burdensome over time.

It’s like a credit card. You can either buy something with cash or all at once. Or you can buy it with a credit card and pay it back slowly over time. It’s more painful to drop $1000 in cash down for something you want in the short term, but that’s the most that thing will ever cost you.

It’s less painful to put it on your card, but over time you end up paying way, way more for it.

If you want to live minimally you have to practice actively letting go of things. Small things, big things, beloved things, things you totally forgot you have, things you’re going to end up needing again in two weeks and things you’re sure you’ll use again but probably never will.

It doesn’t matter what you start with. Just pick something and get rid of it. Notice how light you feel. Notice the pain of letting go. Notice the relief that you won’t have to touch or move that object again. Notice how you totally stop thinking about the things you don’t have after a few hours, days, or weeks.

Minimalism is simply the practice of letting go again and again and again and again. The more you let go, the easier it gets. The trick is to just keep doing it.

2. Start Small Mostly. When people try to become minimalist, they often make the mistake of minimizing everything. Don’t do that. It’s really really hard to go global with something like minimalism.

Instead start with one object and work outwards. Clothing is a good place to start because we tend to have lots of clothes that we will never wear again. You can try turning all of your hangers in one direction, and then in a month go through all the clothes you haven’t turned around then get rid of half of them. Then turn all the hangers around again and repeat every 6 months or so, getting rid of half of the clothes.

Do this with other things. Pick an area or set of items. Go through them. Get rid of some of them. Then do it again. Again minimalism is all about the cycle of letting go.

3. Sometimes Go Big. Sometimes you should go big. This is especially true of moving or when you’re taking stuff to Goodwill. In these moments the excitement of change outweighs the pain of letting go.

Take advantage of these moments. They are golden and can help you take huge leaps towards having less. But don’t try to do this all the time. You’ll simply wear yourself out and then give up on this whole minimalism idea.

It’s that simple: start small, let go often, and sometimes go big.

 
by Toku on Skillset

How To Exercise For Life

Your body is getting older. Either you know this because you’re above the age of 28, or you don’t, because being in your twenties makes you feel like you can live forever. Your body is a depreciable asset in need of maintenance. Part of this maintenance is diet and part of it is exercise. But it’s not only your body that needs exercise; your minds needs it as well. Exercise makes everything work better.

The Problem The problem is that everyone wants to do the right type or amount of exercise. But they can never seem to figure out what the right type or amount is. They think they should always being do more and since doing more is hard they just don’t do anything at all. And this works great for Big Box Gym’s. Big Box gyms don’t sell a place to work out; they sell the possibility of working out. If you have a membership working out is possible. You could do it someday, but you probably won’t and that’s is how they make money.

This is silly. Instead of worrying about finding the best exercise, it’s better to simply do something you enjoy. If you do this, then you’ll do more of it, until eventually you’re doing regular exercise. That’s what we’re shooting for, regularity. Not Crossfit, not 6 packs, not yoga butt; regular activity. You want to shoot for regularity, because regular exercise is like regular bridge maintenance, it’s what you need to prevent catastrophic failure.

 The Simple Exercise Plan Here’s a technique I’ve used in the past that’s worked:

1. Find something physical you like. It can be anything, walking, water polo, swimming, badminton, biking, running, jump roping, boxing, jiujitsu, or rock climbing. If you don’t know what you like, then try a few things out til you find something you like. Life is too short to do crap you hate. Yes, there’s probably something you could do that would be more effective. But the reason most people don’t exercise isn’t lack of efficiency; it’s lack of consistency. And you’re much more likely to do something you actually enjoy on a consistent basis. If you don’t like anything, then cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it. You can learn to like something new, you’ve done it before, now you need to do it again.

“Tweet: Life is too short to do crap you hate”Tweet: Life is too short to do crap you hate. @mindfitmove http://ctt.ec/VafF2+

2. Do it regularly. Once you’ve found one thing you like, start doing it regularly. Set a plan to walk a couple times a week, or go to the pool on Sundays or join a badminton club. How often is regularly? Well the American College of Sports and Medicine recommends that you do 30 minutes of I don’t give a crap,  just pick a schedule you can stick to and do it. The ideal schedule is a little challenging without being too challenging. It should be ‘man this hard’ but not ‘Oh my god please sacrifice a baby goat so this will stop’ hard. 3. Do a little bit more. Over time add a little bit more to your routine. If you’re walking for 20 minutes add a couple of mins every week or so. 10% is a good amount to increase weekly, but not much more. Don’t go all 200% more. It vastly increases the likelihood of crashing and burning. 4. If you fail, fall off the wagon, or get hurt, get back up. Everyone, and I mean everyone, falls off of their exercise routine. It’s totally normal. Everyone has little injuries and setbacks. Again, normal. But if you get set back just start with the same simple principles. Pick something you like. Do it regularly. Then do a little bit more. If you do this, then you’ll become an active person. And active people do all sorts of things like triathlons, marathons, power lifting, or whatever. Inactive people do nothing. So do something and then once you get used to that try something else that’s interesting to you.

 
by Toku on Skillset

The Simple Way To Form Habits

You are the things you do. You are the sediments and dusts of the thousand tiny actions you take moment after moment.Tweet: You are the sediments and dusts of the thousand tiny actions you take moment after moment. @Mindfitmove http://ctt.ec/vdcLw+

But these actions aren’t random. Like the layers of rock in the Grand Canyon your actions follow a pattern. A flow of self reinforcing conscious or unconscious mandates called habits.

We are creatures of habit and for a very good reason. While our brains have an amazing capacity for ingenuity they have a limited capacity for working memory. So the more things we can put on autopilot, the more space we have to think about our brilliant ideas and our ever present worries.

If you want to create an exciting dynamic life, you’re going to need a set of automated internal systems to help you get there.

Here is the habit formation technique I use with myself and my clients.

1. Pick a specific doable action.
Often when people start trying to create habits, they are too vague. They’ll say, “I want to eat better.” But what does “better” mean? How do you know if you’re doing it? They’ll say, “I want to walk more”. One more step is technically more, but is that what you really meant?

Every time you perform a well worn habit your brain releases a little dopamine. You get this little jolt of pleasure each time because your brain like familiarity.

Which means if you want to form a new habit, you have to wire in that little jolt. If you have a vague goal for your habit, it doesn’t work because you never cross the “I did it line.” So instead pick a small specific doable action.

If you want to eat better, simply create the habit of having vegetables with dinner every night.
If you want to walk more, take a small 5 minute walk after lunch. That’s it. Small, simple, and doable. You’ll know when you’ve done it, and you’ll know when you haven’t.

2. Do that action at the same time.
Doing a habit at different times is hard because you have use your limited willpower and memory to execute it. This is a misallocation of resources.

Instead start by doing your habit at a certain time. This could be an absolute time like 8 a.m. or a fixed relative time like before you go to bed. It doesn’t matter which you choose; just set a time and do the habit.

3. Get a Habit Buddy
Social cues are so strong because we are social creatures. If you can, get a friend to build this habit with you. Make an agreement to support each other and stick to it.
If you can’t find a habit buddy ask a friend or group to hold accountable. If you don’t have this kind of group or person in your life, announce it publicly.

Just don’t try to do the habit in solitude. It’s possible but you’ll lose the advantage of your hardwired herd mentality.

4. Try some other tricks.
There’s lots of cool tricks you can use to form habits. You can create a visual cue for your habit using paper clips or by coloring a picture.

You can set lot’s of reminders or use to do apps like Todoist or Lift.

You can make bets around your habits involving giving up money or making an embarrassing video.

There are lot’s of cool habit tricks. You should try some of them to see if they work.

5. Don’t make it too complicated.
Just pick a doable action, do it at it same time everyday, and get your friends to help.

 
by Toku on Skillset

Here’s The Method Master Coaches Use To Create Trust

Today I was on a coaching call and I was scared. It was the first five minutes of the conversation and I had this feeling that I’ve had before: this feeling that I have no idea what I’m doing.

As I sat there I could feel the fear coursing through my body. I watched the thoughts rise and fall. I can’t help this man. I have no idea what to say. I don’t know how I ever thought I could help him. As it arose, I sat and breathed. I had been here before. I knew what to do.

I simply slowed down, got really curious, and started to listen.

Two hours later he was getting off the phone with me, more clear and happy than he had been in a while. He thanked me again and again. It was one of the most powerful coaching calls I’ve had in a long time.

What changed?

You might think there was some magic technique I used, some secret coaching trick that I employed to turn my fear into confidence.

There is a secret to having powerful conversations, but it’s not a technique or a process. You can’t learn it any book.

The secret is to listen. To slow down, to stay engaged, and to really listen.

Most of us don’t know how to do this. We know how to wait for our turn to speak. We know how to analyze the communication for valuable data. We know how to guess at what they person wants us to say. We may even know how to agree or disagree with them.

But listening deeply is different. It means being willing to hear someone else without having to fix them, without having to respond, without knowing where the conversation will go next.

It’s simple, but it’s also very hard. Our tendency is to try and think about talking or think about listening without actually listening.

But you can change it if you want to. If you want to listen more deeply simply do this.

  • Sit down and look at the person who is talking.
  • When they speak, notice what is happening for you and for them.
  • As you listen, notice what you feel and experience.
  • Stay with that.
  • Be open to hearing what they have to say.
  • Don’t worry if what they say is right or wrong, true or untrue, wise or foolish.
  • Don’t worry if you have an opinion about what they are saying, and definitely don’t worry if they have an opinion about something or what it is.
  • If you’re curious about something they said because you want to understand their experience, go ahead and ask about it.
  • If you want to know details or facts or find anything out so you can make them right or wrong and so you can analyze the situation, let it go.
  • When you think you hear what they are saying, reflect it back.
  • But make sure you inquire instead of accuse.
  • Don’t say “Oh you’re feeling this,” or “Oh this is what you mean.”
  • Instead say: “Is this how you’re feeling? Is this what you mean?”
  • If you have a story that you think would help frame their experience, then tell it.
  • If you have a story that competes with or mirrors their experience, then keep it to yourself.
  • Slow down.
  • No even slower.
  • Be okay with silence.
  • Be okay with giving them time.
  • Be okay with giving yourself time.
  • Love them and yourself.
  • Keep your heart open, especially when you feel it contract.
  • Try to listen, but not too hard.
  • Just be relaxed and open to their words.
  • And don’t forget to slow down.

We all think we know how to listen, but true listening is hard. It requires the same kind of attention meditation does. You must be alert but relaxed. You must be kind and open. You must be willing to go wherever the conversation takes you. You must let go.

Listening takes a lifetime of practice. I practice it everyday, and I do it most a lot of the time. But listening is worth it. Listening heals wounds, it draws out wisdom, and it creates a space that is almost impossible to find in the world.

If you want to offer something of enormous value to those in your life, whether it be a friend, a client, a customer, a colleague, or even your own children, then learn to listen to them. Learn to be with them as they share their lives.

To be with someone who listens is to finally feel like you’re not alone.Tweet: To be with someone who listens is to finally feel like you’re not alone. @mindfitmove http://ctt.ec/kf7A1+

 
by Toku on Skillset

This Brain of Mine

Sometimes I wish I could go inside my head and clean out my brain. I wish I could open it up and wash the whole damn thing out, because I don’t know how half of that crap got there in the first place.

Your brain is an object that weighs a few pounds. It contains volumes of data. Yet it’s only able to regurgitate the things you need around 75% of the time.

If your brain were a laptop, you would wipe the hard drive and reload the applications. If your brain was a radio, you’d fix it’s bent antenna.

We can’t do this with our brains. They don’t work like hard drives or radios. Instead, they work more like a garden or a pet.

You aren’t programmable; you’re grow-rammable.

In order to improve you have to invest time, you have tend, and you have to patiently accept the setbacks.

So what do we do with this organic machine in our heads?

While there are a lot of ways to deal with your brain, here is one simple method I use all the time:

1. Give it gratitude.
Why not thank your brain for all it’s hard work? I know it sounds cheesy, but close your eyes for a minute and thank your brain.

Hey Brain,

I know you work really hard all the time, and sometimes I ask you to think A LOT maybe even too much. But I just wanted to tell you thank you for all the thoughts you think, for all the ideas you’ve given me to ponder, and for all the choices you’ve helped me make. You’ve kept me safe from walking into traffic and have even helped me meet some really interesting people.

So I just wanted to say thank you so much for all the hard work. I’m sorry I don’t appreciate you more often.

Once you’re done just sit in silence for a minute and let it sink in.

2. Give it a break.
Remind your brain it’s ok not to think about everything; it’s ok to focus on your simple, impermanent body. It’s okay to enjoy this moment and do nothing more. It may not always cooperate and relax, but it just might if you give it permission. After all, it’s desire to think is a desire to help.

3. Give it a toy.

Brains are good at paying attention and they do better when we give them something simple to focus on. So you might say to your brain let’s settle down and pay attention to our body.

Then notice how your eyes are scanning across the page. If you pay attention, you can feel your eyes moving. Notice your breath moving in and out of your body. Can you notice both?

Right now I can feel my fingers typing as my eyes move. I can feel my breath moving in an out. I can feel my warm heart open thinking about you as you read this. When you let it be calm this mind can notice all these things.

Isn’t the mind amazing?

 
by Toku on Skillset

Build A Future You Can Be Proud Of

You always say you want to change your habits, get more leads, write a blog, create a lovely home, and have better relationships. But you struggle to make these things happen.

Then you look around and try to figure out why it isn’t happening. You think, “Maybe I just don’t have the right information.” So you go off and read another book.

You think, “Maybe, I’m just not motivated enough.” So you listen to Tony Robbins to pump yourself up.

You think, “Maybe, I’m just too busy.” So you tell yourself that you’ll get started when things slow down (which they never do).

“Maybe,” you think to yourself, “Maybe…”

The capital T – TRUTH
The only thing that’s standing between you and change is consistency.

You can make all the excuses you want, you can look for better information, or you can try to find a hack, but nothing – and I mean nothing – will help you be more successful in life and love than putting in the unglamorous and consistent effort.

It’s less about the one big day you make it and way more about all the little days you wake up and do the work, even if you don’t think you’re making any progress.

Stop looking for shortcuts. Stop making excuses. Instead decide that tomorrow you’re going to wake up and get to work. You’ll be amazed at how much progress you’ll make.