Sometimes you want to defend your no, I really want to do this, I really would like to keep you on, I really wish I could make it.

And in this subtle way you rob the person you talk to of the generosity of your no. You defend it like it hides a secret barb from them.

When in truth no is just no. You might have reasons, you could offer them if asked, but you don’t need to defend that which there is nothing wrong with.

Sometimes the best thing is to simply say, I generously decline your offer. Thank you for making it.

Often the most generous NO is the one without flourish or circumstance.