fitness Archives - UNEXECUTIVE

The One Email You Should Write Everyday

March 24, 2014 By Toku

The One Email You Should Write Everyday

About a year ago I watched a TED talk that outlined some very simple things you could do to make yourself happier. Some of them I had heard before, like exercising and meditating. But one idea that stuck out was when they encouraged everyone, to do one daily good deed, by sending out a nice email every morning.

Instantly, I loved the simplicity of this idea as well as its ritualistic nature. How often do we get so caught up in our own affairs and forget to reach out to the people who make our lives better?

And so, for the past six to nine months I’ve been writing at least one nice email everyday.

Some of the emails have been simple thank you notes to people who were nice to me. Some of them were to old friends to let them know how much they meant. And some of them were to people who I thought needed to hear something nice.

But each email changed the way I saw the recipient, as well as the way I saw myself. Here are some things I discovered about the practice of sending one nice email a day.

Writing Nice Emails Is Easier Than You Think

One thing that amazed me was how easy nice emails are to write. When I started this practice, I was worried that my emails would seem forced. That I would come off sounding inauthentic. And that people wouldn’t take me seriously.

But I found as I started to write my heart would step forward and I would able to write with sincerity.

I realized we don’t have to go far to find admiration for the people in our lives. Instead I found that again and again, I was inspired by all the amazing, kind, beautiful, smart, and talented people I’ve been blessed to know.

People Appreciate Small Gestures More Than You Realize

Often not long after I hit send I’d receive a reply telling me how much my email had meant.

One reply I received was from an old teacher who told me my email had come at a moment when he had been doubting his choice of profession. Another came from an old friend who told me they had been facing some hard times I had known nothing about.

And while I didn’t write the emails so people would thank me, each reply made me so blessed to have been able to offer kind words to others in their time of need.

You Don’t Realize How Much You Mean to Others

While I didn’t send these emails so that other people would appreciate me, I did receive many kind emails in return.

Best of all, their replies reveled qualities in me that others admired, but that I’d never considered a strength.

The emails I got in return helped me to really absorbed the compassion of others. And to see how our lives often touch others in mysterious ways.

And while it’s totally fine when I don’t get a reply. The bounty I did receive far outweighed the cost of a few minutes of typing.

Being Kind is its Own Reward

Despite the personal benefits and kind replies, the best thing I’ve gotten from this practice is a more positive outlook. Everyday I remember to write an email I find that it’s harder to be grumpy or sad. Plus it’s changed the way I look at the people around me.

Part of rediscovering deep admiration for everyone in my life has been to realize that everyone admires, inspires, and cares about each other more than you ever would’ve guessed.

How To Get Started:

The best thing about the nice email practice is how simple it is to get started.

1. Make a Top Ten List

Make a list of the top 10 people you’d like to tell how much you care or how much you appreciate. Pick people who’ll be easy and fun to write to.

Then every morning write a short email or letter to one person on the list. This short list will get you started and it’ll encourage you connect with old friends, acknowledge the people who have helped you, and get grounded in gratitude.

2. Select a Phase or Location of Your Life to Focus On.

After you finish your first list, it can be hard to know where to go next. I’ve found that if I focus my energy on appreciating one group of friends or one time in my life that it’s much easier to keep going.

When I first started writing nice emails, I wrote quite a few to my friends back in Nashville. I hadn’t kept in touch with many of them when I moved and I wanted to reach out and reconnect. Eventually I had written to most of my closet friends from my old how town.

By focusing on my friends in Nashville, not only was it easier for me to pick subjects, it was easier for me to connect with and remember all the things I loved about those friends and those times in my life.

3. Go All Willy Nilly

Eventually a day will come where you aren’t sure whom you should write to. When this happens I usually just go into my contact list or onto my friends page on Facebook and pick someone at random.

While this can be harder, I’ve found that by going on and looking with an open heart, I often find people to express kindness to that I might normally miss.

This method has helped me write emails to long lost college friends and even to fellow employees from jobs I can hardly remember. But each time I’ve been glad to realize how even these small players of my small life have had an impact on who I am.

Final Thoughts

There are so many things we can and do spend time on. And it can be easy to believe that sending a nice email a day is a silly or pointless exercise.

But what I’ve discovered is that despite all the Upworthy posts and the touching YouTube videos so many of us are starved for real personal appreciation.

And this simple act of sending a nice email not only offers a true blessing to the world, but it is one of the easiest ways to make everyday I little better.

So I invite you to try it. Close this post and open up a composition widow, and send a email to someone you love. Then come back and tell me how it went. I promise it’s an amazing way to begin your day.

My Instant Fitness Transformation

February 12, 2014 By Toku

Running in the City at Night

Tonight I went for a run on a soggy night in Portland and as I hit the waterfront I was struck by how beautiful the city looked.

The lights shone soft and smooth through the falling rain. The shimmering ground reflected patches of architecture that shattered as I stepped through them. And the whoosh of the cars joined the tiny pats of water falling on my hood to create a soundscape so subtle and familiar that I couldn’t help but smile.

As I ran, I realized that this more than anything else is why I exercise. Sure there’s the living longer, the looking younger, and the stress relief. But I get all of those things from exercise. There are only the ends to the exercise means.

The real reasons I exercise are the moments where my body and heart transport me to another place. Even when that other place is one I’ve been to many times.

You see, some people think that exercise changes your life because you lose weight or build muscle. But the truth is that exercise changes your life because the act itself transports and transforms you.

You don’t have to wait for the results because the results are instantaneous. In fact waiting for the results will only make you miss how everything change the moment you step out the door.

To me that’s what living an active mindful life is all about.

Instant Fitness Transformation

The key to this instant transformation is simple, but not always easy. All you have to do is:

1. Let go of results –

The results don’t come from the future, they come straight from your body as you move.

2. Let go of expectations –

easy or hard, each moment of exercise can bring a new discovery if you let it.

3. Let go of your image –

No matter what you do, your body will eventually fall apart. But this moment can be powerful, if it’s not about how you look.

4. Let go of imperfection –

Don’t believe people when they tell you you’re broken. Instead, listen to the truth in your heart that tells you you’re whole.

5. Let go of yourself –

The real transformative power of exercise comes when you get out of the way. The energy that flows through you is ancient and primal. When you become open to moving without it being about you, then you can truly access a place of amazing presence.

Invitation

I invite you to join me in changing our lives, not by running a hundred miles, but by running the next one with attention.

I invite you to join me in this present moment, whenever we get the chance.

I invite you to join me in exercising the power of your life.

Because exercise isn’t just the path. Exercise and the connection it creates to your body is the destination you arrive at over and over again on the journey to a more mindful and balanced life.

Which World Do You Belong To?

October 30, 2013 By Toku

I recently saw this Image

And then I read about the controversy that surrounded it.

The thing I took away was that for some people there exists two worlds.

The Two Worlds

The first world:

is made up of people that look like this

And This

And They Eat Things Like This:

And This

And They Post Things On Their Facebook Pages Like This:

And This

The Second World

is made up of people that look like this

And This

And They Eat Things Like This:

And This

And They Post Things On Their Facebook Pages Like This:

And This

If you read the internet then you probably think

This is what the first world thinks about themselves:

I worked hard to get this body and I’m proud of it.
I’m sexy and people like that, how could that be wrong.
Life is about staying focused, being successful, and looking good.

This is what the second world thinks about themselves:

It’s not my fault I’m overweight. It’s bad genetics, it’s McDonalds, it’s my kids etc.
I hate that I’m fat, but I can’t change it.
I look awful and feel awful about myself
or
I’m proud to be fat and I don’t give a crap what you think.

This is what the first world thinks about the second:

Stop making excuses and start getting in shape.
You have no one to blame for your weight but you. If you worked as hard as I do you could look as good as me.
It sucks that people bully you, but what do you expect. If you really want to shut them up pick up a barbell and put down that fork.

This is what the second world thinks about the first:

Those fitness models probably all have eating disorders.
Fit people have OCD and they are all about shaming fat people.
Those bodies aren’t realistic and they are causing people to hate themselves.

Well I’m here to tell you that all of this is:

BULLSHIT

We all live in one world where people look like this:

And This

And This

And This

And They Eat Things Like This:

And This

And They Post Things On Their Facebook Pages Like This:

And This

The One World

The world is complicated and diverse. But there is one of it.

So I encourage you to not put yourself in one group or another, but to see that we all long to be more whole, to be more connected, to be more wise, and to be more loving.

The problem with images like this

Is that they divide the world into two.

Those that make excuses and those that don’t

Those that work hard and those that don’t

Those that look like this and those that don’t.

But there aren’t two worlds, there aren’t two moons, and there aren’t two you’s.

The you who you are and you who could be.

There is only you perfect and whole just as you are.

And everything you are, or have been, or will be is right there in the center of your chest.

Whenever you forget this –

Close your eyes

And say to yourself

May I be free from fear and anxiety

May I be at ease

May I be happy

Repeat this whenever you need a moment to love who you are right here right now

Thanks for reading! Please subscribe this blog to join hundreds of people who want to honor their lives and create amazing lasting change. Plus get your free guide A Sexy Guide to Your Sexy Mind just for signing up.)

If you liked this post you might also like these posts:

How NOT to Suck at Dieting

Why Being Perfect Sucks

Minimalist Health: 5 Unbelievably Easy Ways To Live Healthier

Mind Fit Food – 5 Tips for Keeping a Mindful Fitness Journal

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Photo Credits

Interview with Lori Deschene: Founder of TinyBuddha.com

March 17, 2013 By Toku

This week I was lucky enough to interview a person I admire greatly, the founder of TinyBuddha.com Lori Deschene.

Her blog and Twitter feed inspires thousands of people around the world. She shares simple wisdom in the form of quotes, writings, and books. She also shares amazing content from many inspiring writers and seekers.

Before Lori published my posts on TinyBuddha.com I was a small blogger with just a few dozen readers. Because of her help my blog has gotten thousands of views and has hundreds of subscribers.

Thanks
I want to take this chance to thank her for the community she has built, the opportunity she has given me, and the inspiring example she is setting with TinyBuddha.com

If you don’t know about her or her blog please go over and check it out. I know you won’t be disappointed.

Interview
She was nice enough to take the time to answer a few questions for this humble blog. I hope you all enjoy her answers as much as I did.

1. A big thing about Tiny Buddha is sharing inspiring quotes. Have these sayings given your strength through difficult times?

Absolutely! There’s one quote that’s impacted me more than any other: “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it.”

This is one I found during one of the lowest times of my life, when I was living an isolated existence in a low-income dorm-style Manhattan building. I had no money, no friends, no self-respect, and, I thought, no hope.

But this quote changed my perspective. I formerly thought my circumstances defined me, but suddenly I considered that maybe I wasn’t the sum of my mistakes; maybe I could be the strength I found to learn from them and move beyond them.

This particular experience happened a few years before I started tinybuddha.com, but I continue to use this as a personal mantra. And I always reflect on the daily quote—which makes sense given that I often choose them based on what I’m dealing with at a given time!

2. Who is the most quotable person in your life?
Interesting question! I’d have to say my boyfriend. He’s someone I turn to for guidance and support because he’s insightful and wise beyond his years. That’s something that drew me to him initially.

He embodies all the qualities I aspire to possess: he has a sense of childlike wonder and presence; he sees the best in people and gives them the benefit of the doubt; and he knows that gratitude is the key to happiness.

3. What exciting projects are you working on right now? When can we expect to see them come online?
I’m working on a few exciting things right now! Sometime within the next few weeks, I plan to launch a new, responsive design and forums. I’m in the initial phases of building a Tiny Buddha iPhone app, which I hope to launch in a few months.

I’m planning a second site with my first ever eCourse (in partnership with my boyfriend, actually), which should be up by June or July. And I’m also preparing to launch my second book, Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Self-Love, this fall.

4. Do you think that using others quotes limits creativity or does it support the creative process? And why?
That’s an interesting question. I never really thought about whether it limits creativity, but I suppose it could for some.

I wanted to run the blog this way, having all posts start with a quote, because the site came after the Twitter account, which was a quote feed.

I wondered how many of us actually applied those daily thoughts to our lives; and I hoped that by encouraging people to share stories related to the quotes, it would inspire us to focus more on doing that.

Especially now that we have so much information at our fingertips, it’s tempting to consume ideas without really reflecting on them and doing something with them.

Requiring people to write with quotes in mind may limit the experience of writing, but I hope it enhances the experience of living!

5. What is your experience with mindfulness and exercise practice? Have either or both taught you any valuable lessons?
Both have taught me valuable lessons. Mindfulness has taught me that I truly can “start over” at any time. I don’t need to carry the weight of who or where I’ve been—every moment can be a fresh start if I’m willing to let it be.

Exercise is something I’ve learned a lot from, but I’m not currently applying those lessons very well! Since I moved out of my apartment a month back, I’ve been hopping around and I haven’t stuck to a routine. However, I know that I am happier and more balanced when I prioritize exercise.

It’s not just about my body—something I thought years ago. It’s about my overall well-being. It’s a big part of being good to myself, and it affects my ability to be good for others.

6. How do people transform their lives?
There are lots of ways—but I suggest starting by changing your thoughts. If we can take responsibility for ourselves without blaming ourselves, and challenge the beliefs that keep us stuck, we’re in good shape to start creating real change. Beyond that, I suggest focusing on the tiny things. It’s less overwhelming, therefore easier to maintain consistency, and, the small things all add up!

Thanks again Lori for taking the time to answer these questions. If you don’t know about Lori please check out her blog and twitter feed.

Posts I’ve written for TinyBuddha
3 Mar When You Feel Terrified: Come Out of the Panic Zone

12 Dec 5 Powerful Things to Do for Yourself When You’re Sick

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha, a community blog that features stories and insights from readers all over the globe. Since it launched in 2009, Tiny Buddha has grown into one of the most popular inspirational sites on the web, with more than 1 million social media friends. Lori runs the site as a group effort because she believes we all have something to teach and something to learn. She is the author of Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions and the Tiny Wisdom eBooks series.

I Love It When You Screw Up

March 12, 2013 By Toku

WTF ?!?
WTF Are You Talking About?!?
That’s what the look on her face said.
I could tell she was tired. So I repeated it again.
“You don’t have to go down that far.”
“But I’m doing overhead squats!”
I love her, but she wasn’t doing overhead squats.
To be honest I wasn’t sure what she was doing.

The Woes of CrossFit
Let me back up. This all happened the other day at Crossfit. I finished my workout and went over to cheer my partner on.

When I got to where she was lifting she seemed to be doing a kind of mini thruster. She would dip half way into a squat and then come up and do a shoulder press. That day we had to do 50 overhead presses and 50 front squats.

I thought she was doing overhead presses, but she was squatting down really far. So I told her she didn’t need to dip that far. That’s when she said she was doing overhead squats. I tried to explain the mix up to her, but it didn’t seem to help.

After a short discussion she realized her error. She had been doing an extra shoulder press with each front squat. She looked defeated.

Almost everyone in class was done or close to it. She still had several reps to go.

I stayed with her and encouraged her to keep going. She made it to the end. But I could tell she felt stupid making that mistake.

We were able to laugh about it later, but I realized there was a valuable lesson in the experience.

Aaaaawk –warrrrd.
Grace is something most of us value. As a kid being awkward is painful.

You can be a nerd, a band geek, even an outcast, but if you’re awkward it’s the worst. So we spend much of our time trying to be smooth and cool.

This all adds up to a strong desire to do things perfectly and to never let anyone see you make a mistake.

Mistakes Help
The problem is that mistakes help us. If we are not making some mistakes, we are not learning. When we go for it we’re bound to stumble and fall. We may even embarrass ourselves in front of other people. But that’s ok.

Making mistakes helps us see we have veered off the path. That way we can get back on track.

It also releases our fear of screwing up. We see that making a mistake isn’t that bad. We didn’t die and often no one even notices.

The Value Of Mistakes

But our mistakes can also be a great asset to us. For example in the world of photography mistakes have led to great works of creativity. Take for example Jill Greenberg’s Monkey portraits. The artists reports in several interviews that she took the pictures by mistake. She was doing some client work and just liked the attitude of the monkey. And it led to an amazing series of portraits admired by photographers all around the world.

Just look at this picture for example. It shows so much of personality of the monkey all while still holding Jill’s unique way of lighting and painting the subject. She makes the monkey seems both very human and at the same time very clinical. The background reminds one of any studio portraiture and yet the personality elevates the subject to the realm of the human and maybe even further to the divine.

And yet this picture never would have taken place. Had it not been for Jill’s mistake. She executes her technique with great skill and clearly by this picture and the others in the series has a plan, but she’s also open to something random and new.

Ms. Greenberg went on to try other bold projects like that of End Times a series of works that depicts children crying. This project went on to get her in trouble with many people because well she made kids cry.

But much of her success has been due to the fact that she is willing to take risks.

Whether or not you feel that these pictures depict art or cruelty her boldness has served her well.

Disclaimer: No girlfriends were harmed in the writing of this post.

You Can Read My Partners Blog Wordsavant by clicking here.

Photo Credits