We tend to think about worth in relationship to what we do for people.
Beyonce deserves to make a ton of money because of the singing and performing she does. I can charge a thousand dollars per hour because of the kind of coaching I do. A brilliant programmer deserves to make $100k+ a year because of the code he writes.
But looking at worth as a function of the value of our doing isn’t truthful.
- If you have children how much would you pay in ransom to get them back from a kidnapper? Assuming you were confident they’d be returned to you.
- If your partner needed a life-saving procedure and it cost $50k or $100k what lengths might you go to get that money?
And yet if you look simply at what the people closest to you actually do, it’s often very simple.
- Children draw crayon drawings, they snuggle, they play.
- Your partner talks to you about your day, maybe cooks a meal or two, and gives you affection.
What makes them special isn’t what they do?
What makes them special is who they are for you.
Your children are the only people who can BE your children. If I came over and drew with crayons for you it wouldn’t be the same.
Your partner is the only person who can BE your partner for you. You won’t feel the same level of depth with a house cleaning service or assistant even if they do a better job cleaning your home and helping you manage your life.
It’s who we are for people that matter most. So much so that it’s almost impossible to replace.
Yet leaders forget this all the time.
As a leader, you obsess over what you’re doing all day, when what your team really needs is for you to BE a leader for them.
What matters is who you are for people.
As a leader who you are for people is presence, integrity, and a stand for their greatness. 90% of what you, 90% of the magic is being this for other people. 10% is what you do as you be this.
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking your greatest value is in what you do.
Your real value is who you are for other people.
Learn to be great for them.