I’ve made a lot of mistakes in this life. And when I just see those mistakes it’s pretty clear to me that I suck. But I’m ok with that, because my failures have taught me a lot about what it means to be human and take full responsibility for my life.
We all have dark parts of ourselves, shadows you hide behind the light of your accomplishments. But this is a mistake. The shadows only have power when they are hidden.
So instead of pretending to be as perfect as your Facebook status, why not just be real and share your shadow with someone you trust? It’s a scary but powerful to be seen. And besides, we all need someone to watch our back so our shadow doesn’t take us down.
Why I Suck – An Ode To Crapitude
Let’s face it people: I suck in some very simple and specific ways. These include, but are not limited to the following:
1. It took me 10 years to finish college, not because I was working my way through it, but because I dropped out for 8 years with only 6 credits left to complete.
2. I wasted about a decade of my life stoned out of my gourde. Not because of glaucoma, but because I was lazy and scared.
3. My first company failed, badly! I lost all of the money my family invested in it without working half as hard as a should’ve.
4. I cheated on numerous girlfriends, simply because I was either too afraid to break up with them or because I needed to feel better about myself.
5. I stole money, items, and time from numerous jobs, organizations, and people I don’t even know, sometimes out of greed, sometimes out of boredom, sometimes out of spite, and sometime for reasons beyond my comprehension.
And so for these and many other reasons it is quite clear that I suck.
But you know what? I’m cool with that, not with all the ways I’ve let myself and others down but with the fact that I’ve failed in these big and small ways.
After making a mess of my life I’ve realized failure has taught me a lot about myself.
Most of us are cool with claiming the good stuff, the accolades, the awards, the experience. But the bad stuff that’s another story.
People like to hide these sketchy bits like skeletons in a closet, but that’s a mistake. Your skeletons are never really hidden. People hear them when the speak to you, people feel them in the way you express love, and people see them in the way you live your life.
Just because they don’t know what they’re seeing doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect how they treat you. When you hide your shadow, you hide your power. When you hide your failure, you limit yourself.
So stop. Stop pretending you’re perfect. Stop pretending your Facebook page and Linkedin profiles are only telling half the truth. Stop hiding your skeletons in the closet.
Instead claim them, bring them out, dust them off and let people know about your hidden parts. Not everyone or anyone, but the people you love and trust.
Even though you’re scared to show yourself what you really want, what we all want is to be seen. Because being seen is one of the most liberating things that you can ever experience.
Let the show go. Stop trying to look like a badass, Stop trying to project success. Instead be a badass, be a success, not by pretending you’ve done nothing wrong, but by admitting it. Work your ass off to become the kind of person, who is good enough to have made the mistakes you’ve already made.
3 thoughts on “Why I Suck”
Kudos for opening up like this!
Yep. I suck too! The other funny bit about owning up to mistakes is learning just how many others around you have been in the same or similar boats. Thanks for the post!
Um… any chance I can borrow the idea of this post and do something with it on my blog? (You know, if I TRULY sucked, I wouldn’t have asked… 😉 )
Borrow away! I love it when my writing inspires others. Just make sure to back link and post your link in the comments so i can read it.
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