transformation Archives

Do Less, Change More – 5 Minimalist Life Changers

May 14, 2013 By Toku

Changing your life can seem really complicated and challenging. The process of transformation is a life long journey, but it can begin with a few very simple steps.

5 Minimalist Life Changers

1. Keep a Journal
Try keeping a daily journal of your food, activity, sleep, and mood. This is a powerful tool to notice and change your habit patterns.

When I was preparing to take the Buddhist precepts, I started a daily reflection practice. Every night I spent a few minutes reflecting on the days events. I thought about how I had held the vows I was preparing to take.
I not only discovered some blind spots, but learned to appreciate my victories as well.

2. Go Small and Consistent
Changing your life is about building the confidence to change your habits. Start small and build from there.

When I quit smoking, I didn’t quit cold turkey like many people. I slowly cut back over time. Every time I wanted to smoke, I would delay as long as possible.

I called this practice quitting. When I stopped smoked completely, this practice helped me defeat the urge to cheat whenever it arose.

3. Get Support
Social accountability is a big component for people who are successful in transforming their lives. Having friends on the path makes the journey much easier.

When I was training for my first century ride (100 mile bike ride), I committed to riding with a training group every week. The weekly ritual kept me honest about my training and encouraged me to keep going.

4. Redefine Success
It’s helpful to think of success as measured by both internal and external improvement. Don’t just work to make your body look better also make sure you are nourishing your heart and mind.

It’s important to honor every part of yourself. The part of you that wants a treat isn’t bad or evil, it just wants you to pay attention to something you need.

When I quit smoking, someone told me I had to honor whatever need the smoking filled for me. If I did that, I’d make sure to stay quit.

One thing I loved about smoking was that it made me feel rebellious. So after I quit, I started reading under my sheets after lights out at the monastery. It was against the rules so I felt rebellious. But it was mostly harmless.

Eventually, I was able to put down the crutch, but it helped for a while.
If you feed that need without engaging in the same habit; you make better choices and honor yourself at the same time.

5. Believe In Yourself
Change is very possible, but it’s not a straight and easy road. You have to remind yourself often that you can do it.

Even though I have changed my life drastically over the past 2-3 years I still worry that I’ll slip up. I have to remind myself regularly that change is possible. And that I am manifesting that possibility with every small change I make.

I hope that you find these 5 tips helpful because they have helped me so much.

My number one goal is to help people change their lives. My dream for everyone that reads this blog is that you stay focused on your path and never give up on your ability to change your life.

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Minimalist Health: 5 Unbelievably Easy Ways To Live Healthier

April 18, 2013 By Toku

There is a deluge of advice out there on how to live a healthier lifestyle. You can eat Paleo, do Crossfit, go vegan, and get a TRX.

But for all the theories and programs, a healthy lifestyle isn’t actually that complicated. And some of these programs do more harm than good.

A Crazy Diet
When I was a high school wrestler, I had to cut weight for matches. So, I tried all sorts of crazy dieting theories.

For several months, I was on a liquid diet of protein shakes. Another time, I ate baked potatoes for almost every meal. I also tried eating meals the size of a soft balls.

Each of these wild plans worked but I’d end up feeling like crap. For example, when I came off the liquid diet it felt like someone dropped a bomb on my body. Other diets left me so tired the feeling of my clothes irritated me.

You Did What?
When I tell people these stories they think I was nuts. Yet, you see this kind of stuff all the time in the diet and fitness world. People will do anything to try to conquer their weight.

Too often, this means making yourself miserable just to lose a few pounds. The problem is being miserable isn’t sustainable. The pursuit of health needs to be part of the pursuit of happiness. Otherwise, you’re not on the right track.

Listen to Your Body
When I came back to athletics as an adult I realized that when I lived healthier I felt healthier. I could have ice cream for breakfast but I felt bloated and sleepy. I could eat a salad for every meal, but I’d feel weak and be prone to sickness.

If I paid attention, my body would tell me if I was on the right track. I still worked out hard and sometimes I felt sore. But when I pursued a balanced path, I looked and felt much better.

Being healthy and happy doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact it shouldn’t be. The idea at the core of Mindful Fitness is that healthy, happy living is about simplicity and balance.

So here are 5 Unbelievably Simple Things You Can Do To Improve Your Health

1. Move Bad Food Further Away
The closer you are to food the more likely you are to eat it. So, move food out of your office and into a break room. Don’t bring food into your bedroom unless it’s for a meal. Only take half of what you normally would for dinner and leave the extra in the kitchen.

Best of all don’t buy food you don’t want to eat. If you have to move to get it, you have to think about it. This one step will increase you awareness of everything you eat.

2. Eat More Fruits and Vegetables
Between every meal, eat a piece of fruit. Make half of each dinner plate some type of non-starchy vegetable. I tell all of my clients to eat more veggies. I tell myself the same thing.

Like Snacking? Eat fruit. You will get more vitamins, eat fewer calories, and feel better.

3. Never Go More Than 2 Days without Exercise
This doesn’t mean you have to lift weights or run a mile everyday. It just means you should do some intentional activity every other day. Even if it’s a 5 min walk around the office.

The habit of exercise is the first step to being active. Make it small. Make it doable. Make it happen.

4. Spend 10 Minutes a Day in Intentional Silence
Turn the radio off when doing the dishes. Turn the radio off when you pick your kids up from school. Take a 10 min walk in silence.

Listen to the sounds around you. Focus on your breath. Silence is the most nourishing practice for our minds. This habit is a key to mindful living.

5. Stretch
Whether you are training for an Iron man or mostly sedentary, flexibility is essential. It prevents injury and helps your body be happy. Stretch every other day. Even if it’s just getting out of bed and spending five minutes bending this way and that.

Even better take a yoga class. Look around and you’ll discover many options to choose from. Take something simple and take it easy. Your body and mind will thank you.

The most amazing wisdom is usually the simplest. Being healthy isn’t complicated. Just start small and stick to it. Remember that radical change is gradual change.

Interview with Lori Deschene: Founder of TinyBuddha.com

March 17, 2013 By Toku

This week I was lucky enough to interview a person I admire greatly, the founder of TinyBuddha.com Lori Deschene.

Her blog and Twitter feed inspires thousands of people around the world. She shares simple wisdom in the form of quotes, writings, and books. She also shares amazing content from many inspiring writers and seekers.

Before Lori published my posts on TinyBuddha.com I was a small blogger with just a few dozen readers. Because of her help my blog has gotten thousands of views and has hundreds of subscribers.

Thanks
I want to take this chance to thank her for the community she has built, the opportunity she has given me, and the inspiring example she is setting with TinyBuddha.com

If you don’t know about her or her blog please go over and check it out. I know you won’t be disappointed.

Interview
She was nice enough to take the time to answer a few questions for this humble blog. I hope you all enjoy her answers as much as I did.

1. A big thing about Tiny Buddha is sharing inspiring quotes. Have these sayings given your strength through difficult times?

Absolutely! There’s one quote that’s impacted me more than any other: “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it.”

This is one I found during one of the lowest times of my life, when I was living an isolated existence in a low-income dorm-style Manhattan building. I had no money, no friends, no self-respect, and, I thought, no hope.

But this quote changed my perspective. I formerly thought my circumstances defined me, but suddenly I considered that maybe I wasn’t the sum of my mistakes; maybe I could be the strength I found to learn from them and move beyond them.

This particular experience happened a few years before I started tinybuddha.com, but I continue to use this as a personal mantra. And I always reflect on the daily quote—which makes sense given that I often choose them based on what I’m dealing with at a given time!

2. Who is the most quotable person in your life?
Interesting question! I’d have to say my boyfriend. He’s someone I turn to for guidance and support because he’s insightful and wise beyond his years. That’s something that drew me to him initially.

He embodies all the qualities I aspire to possess: he has a sense of childlike wonder and presence; he sees the best in people and gives them the benefit of the doubt; and he knows that gratitude is the key to happiness.

3. What exciting projects are you working on right now? When can we expect to see them come online?
I’m working on a few exciting things right now! Sometime within the next few weeks, I plan to launch a new, responsive design and forums. I’m in the initial phases of building a Tiny Buddha iPhone app, which I hope to launch in a few months.

I’m planning a second site with my first ever eCourse (in partnership with my boyfriend, actually), which should be up by June or July. And I’m also preparing to launch my second book, Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Self-Love, this fall.

4. Do you think that using others quotes limits creativity or does it support the creative process? And why?
That’s an interesting question. I never really thought about whether it limits creativity, but I suppose it could for some.

I wanted to run the blog this way, having all posts start with a quote, because the site came after the Twitter account, which was a quote feed.

I wondered how many of us actually applied those daily thoughts to our lives; and I hoped that by encouraging people to share stories related to the quotes, it would inspire us to focus more on doing that.

Especially now that we have so much information at our fingertips, it’s tempting to consume ideas without really reflecting on them and doing something with them.

Requiring people to write with quotes in mind may limit the experience of writing, but I hope it enhances the experience of living!

5. What is your experience with mindfulness and exercise practice? Have either or both taught you any valuable lessons?
Both have taught me valuable lessons. Mindfulness has taught me that I truly can “start over” at any time. I don’t need to carry the weight of who or where I’ve been—every moment can be a fresh start if I’m willing to let it be.

Exercise is something I’ve learned a lot from, but I’m not currently applying those lessons very well! Since I moved out of my apartment a month back, I’ve been hopping around and I haven’t stuck to a routine. However, I know that I am happier and more balanced when I prioritize exercise.

It’s not just about my body—something I thought years ago. It’s about my overall well-being. It’s a big part of being good to myself, and it affects my ability to be good for others.

6. How do people transform their lives?
There are lots of ways—but I suggest starting by changing your thoughts. If we can take responsibility for ourselves without blaming ourselves, and challenge the beliefs that keep us stuck, we’re in good shape to start creating real change. Beyond that, I suggest focusing on the tiny things. It’s less overwhelming, therefore easier to maintain consistency, and, the small things all add up!

Thanks again Lori for taking the time to answer these questions. If you don’t know about Lori please check out her blog and twitter feed.

Posts I’ve written for TinyBuddha
3 Mar When You Feel Terrified: Come Out of the Panic Zone

12 Dec 5 Powerful Things to Do for Yourself When You’re Sick

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha, a community blog that features stories and insights from readers all over the globe. Since it launched in 2009, Tiny Buddha has grown into one of the most popular inspirational sites on the web, with more than 1 million social media friends. Lori runs the site as a group effort because she believes we all have something to teach and something to learn. She is the author of Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions and the Tiny Wisdom eBooks series.

Stop Moving Backwards - An Interview with Life Coach Jaclyn Costello

March 10, 2013 By Toku

Have you ever waned to stop moving backwards, let go of the past, and really live your life?

This week I had the chance to speak with Jaclyn Costello from EnlightenLifeCoach.com
I discovered Jaclyn when I read her article “Now is the Time to Heal” on under35project.com.

We talked about what life coaching is and why it’s hard to change your life. At the end she shares a great exercise to help us let go of the past and start moving forward today.

[vimeo 61387146 w=500 h=375]

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Interview Questions:

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1. Your website says you do Progressive Life Coaching, What is that and how is it different from regular life coaching or other types of self improvement work?

2. How did you get interested in working with people in this way?

3. Are their elements of mindfulness and fitness you use with clients? and if so how do you use them?

4. How can people transform their lives is a lasting way?

Jaclyn Costello Interview Mindful Fitness Movement

Jaclyn Costello Bio
I am a writer, professor, & life coach, living in Las Vegas, Nevada where I currently teach at UNLV and run my coaching business. I recently finished my first book of fiction (Artifact), as well as my first book of poetry (How to Be a Human)– both of which I’m sending out at this moment to potential publishers and agents.

After years of trial and error, I’ve chiseled down my life purpose to three things:

1) exploring the world, spirituality, love, and the far reaches of the human condition
2) expressing what I know through stories, novels, and poetry
3) helping others become empowered in their own lives, ease their suffering and fears, reach their greatest potential, create loving relationships, and achieve peace of mind

To read more about what I offer, come on over to EnlightenLifeCoach.com. Or to learn more about me as an artist/writer, visit JaclynCostello.com. All the best!

Finally I want to thank Jaclyn for talking with me. She was a pleasure to talk to and I really appreciated her wisdom and insight.

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This Sucks! Zen and the Art of Difficult Emotions

March 1, 2013 By Toku

I’m the worst person alive!
Over a year ago, I made a vow to make amends for all my unskillful actions. This process involved doing a moral inventory.

It’s a technique I borrowed from 12-Step work. (In the spirit of full disclosure I’ve never done 12-step work and am not an authority on that process.)

I decided to make a list of every bad thing I’ve ever done. This is super hard. At times, I felt like I was the worst person alive.

Tell me how I failed!
The first list I made was long, but I knew there was more. So each night before bed I would sit and say to myself,

“I want to live a life of integrity. I am willing to accept the mistakes I have made. If there is any action I have forgotten and I don’t feel good about, I invite it to come into my awareness.”

After I said this, I would sit in silence for a few minutes. Often something would bubble up to the surface. No matter what it was I greeted it with gratitude and wrote it down.

Make it hurt!
When we start to improve our lives, we open more space. This leads to a sense of freedom and joy. It also allows unfelt emotions to surface.

When these emotions surface, it can feel like we’re moving backwards. In truth it means you are really digging in to real transformation.

The challenge is to face these emotions without trying to fix them. Allow them to arise, feel them, and then be willing to let them go.

5 Steps For Creating Space for Difficult Emotions

1. Set aside time.
You need at least 10-15 minutes, but it’s better to give yourself some wiggle room.

I found that just before bed was the best time for me. It helped me process the day. It also meant I didn’t take these emotions to bed.

2. Find Somewhere to Be Alone
It’s hard to be with difficult emotions around others. They may try to consol or distract you. The point is to just be present with what’s arising. Nature is great, or your bedroom, but if all else fails the bathroom is a good standby.

3. Invite the Emotions to Come In
An invocation can be helpful. State your intention, your willingness to accept what comes, and then invite any hidden emotions to arise.

3. Feel Your Body
If emotions arise, try not to focus on the content. Instead, focus on how the emotions feel in your body. Notice any beliefs that arise especially any absolute statements.

If these emotions become intense try to stay with it, but if your mind starts spinning, focus on your breath or your feet to become grounded.

4. Write it down
Once you have watched the emotion arise, exist, and ebb, write it down. Name the emotions and any beliefs that came with them. This can be a few sentences or much more, it’s up to you.

This gets it out of your head and gives you perspective.

5. Gratitude and Release
Now thank whatever came up for arising. Thank your heart for being willing to feel these hard feelings. Thank yourself for being willing to do this work. Then ask yourself, your heart, and/or a higher power to help you let these feelings go.

Remind yourself that you will do this again soon and that anything else can wait until then.

6. Grounding
Working with difficult emotions can be agitating. Afterwards take ten breaths, do a short yoga routine, or maybe read something inspiring. If you are still reeling try doing something to get in your body: light house work, a more vigorous yoga routine, or a longer meditation.

This practice can be very powerful. It’s not about wallowing, it’s about giving space to the powerful forces inside of us. When we are willing to be with challenging feelings, we gain the courage to face challenges in every aspect of our lives.

Discussion Question: How do you work with difficult emotions?

Disclaimer: For some people this practice is not suggested. If you notice the consistent arising of thoughts involving self harm or suicidal ideation stop using this technique and consult a licensed counselor or therapist before continuing.

If you feel like you need to speak with someone right away call your local crisis line or call A Lifeline Crisis center at 1 800 723 TALK (8255)

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