March 24, 2014 by Toku on Mindset

The One Email You Should Write Everyday

About a year ago I watched a TED talk that outlined some very simple things you could do to make yourself happier. Some of them I had heard before, like exercising and meditating. But one idea that stuck out was when they encouraged everyone, to do one daily good deed, by sending out a nice email every morning.

Instantly, I loved the simplicity of this idea as well as its ritualistic nature. How often do we get so caught up in our own affairs and forget to reach out to the people who make our lives better?

And so, for the past six to nine months I’ve been writing at least one nice email everyday.

Some of the emails have been simple thank you notes to people who were nice to me. Some of them were to old friends to let them know how much they meant. And some of them were to people who I thought needed to hear something nice.

But each email changed the way I saw the recipient, as well as the way I saw myself. Here are some things I discovered about the practice of sending one nice email a day.

Writing Nice Emails Is Easier Than You Think

One thing that amazed me was how easy nice emails are to write. When I started this practice, I was worried that my emails would seem forced. That I would come off sounding inauthentic. And that people wouldn’t take me seriously.

But I found as I started to write my heart would step forward and I would able to write with sincerity.

I realized we don’t have to go far to find admiration for the people in our lives. Instead I found that again and again, I was inspired by all the amazing, kind, beautiful, smart, and talented people I’ve been blessed to know.

People Appreciate Small Gestures More Than You Realize

Often not long after I hit send I’d receive a reply telling me how much my email had meant.

One reply I received was from an old teacher who told me my email had come at a moment when he had been doubting his choice of profession. Another came from an old friend who told me they had been facing some hard times I had known nothing about.

And while I didn’t write the emails so people would thank me, each reply made me so blessed to have been able to offer kind words to others in their time of need.

You Don’t Realize How Much You Mean to Others

While I didn’t send these emails so that other people would appreciate me, I did receive many kind emails in return.

Best of all, their replies reveled qualities in me that others admired, but that I’d never considered a strength.

The emails I got in return helped me to really absorbed the compassion of others. And to see how our lives often touch others in mysterious ways.

And while it’s totally fine when I don’t get a reply. The bounty I did receive far outweighed the cost of a few minutes of typing.

Being Kind is its Own Reward

Despite the personal benefits and kind replies, the best thing I’ve gotten from this practice is a more positive outlook. Everyday I remember to write an email I find that it’s harder to be grumpy or sad. Plus it’s changed the way I look at the people around me.

Part of rediscovering deep admiration for everyone in my life has been to realize that everyone admires, inspires, and cares about each other more than you ever would’ve guessed.

How To Get Started:

The best thing about the nice email practice is how simple it is to get started.

1. Make a Top Ten List

Make a list of the top 10 people you’d like to tell how much you care or how much you appreciate. Pick people who’ll be easy and fun to write to.

Then every morning write a short email or letter to one person on the list. This short list will get you started and it’ll encourage you connect with old friends, acknowledge the people who have helped you, and get grounded in gratitude.

2. Select a Phase or Location of Your Life to Focus On.

After you finish your first list, it can be hard to know where to go next. I’ve found that if I focus my energy on appreciating one group of friends or one time in my life that it’s much easier to keep going.

When I first started writing nice emails, I wrote quite a few to my friends back in Nashville. I hadn’t kept in touch with many of them when I moved and I wanted to reach out and reconnect. Eventually I had written to most of my closet friends from my old how town.

By focusing on my friends in Nashville, not only was it easier for me to pick subjects, it was easier for me to connect with and remember all the things I loved about those friends and those times in my life.

3. Go All Willy Nilly

Eventually a day will come where you aren’t sure whom you should write to. When this happens I usually just go into my contact list or onto my friends page on Facebook and pick someone at random.

While this can be harder, I’ve found that by going on and looking with an open heart, I often find people to express kindness to that I might normally miss.

This method has helped me write emails to long lost college friends and even to fellow employees from jobs I can hardly remember. But each time I’ve been glad to realize how even these small players of my small life have had an impact on who I am.

Final Thoughts

There are so many things we can and do spend time on. And it can be easy to believe that sending a nice email a day is a silly or pointless exercise.

But what I’ve discovered is that despite all the Upworthy posts and the touching YouTube videos so many of us are starved for real personal appreciation.

And this simple act of sending a nice email not only offers a true blessing to the world, but it is one of the easiest ways to make everyday I little better.

So I invite you to try it. Close this post and open up a composition widow, and send a email to someone you love. Then come back and tell me how it went. I promise it’s an amazing way to begin your day.

February 12, 2014 by Toku on Skillset

My Instant Fitness Transformation

Running in the City at Night

Tonight I went for a run on a soggy night in Portland and as I hit the waterfront I was struck by how beautiful the city looked.

The lights shone soft and smooth through the falling rain. The shimmering ground reflected patches of architecture that shattered as I stepped through them. And the whoosh of the cars joined the tiny pats of water falling on my hood to create a soundscape so subtle and familiar that I couldn’t help but smile.

As I ran, I realized that this more than anything else is why I exercise. Sure there’s the living longer, the looking younger, and the stress relief. But I get all of those things from exercise. There are only the ends to the exercise means.

The real reasons I exercise are the moments where my body and heart transport me to another place. Even when that other place is one I’ve been to many times.

You see, some people think that exercise changes your life because you lose weight or build muscle. But the truth is that exercise changes your life because the act itself transports and transforms you.

You don’t have to wait for the results because the results are instantaneous. In fact waiting for the results will only make you miss how everything change the moment you step out the door.

To me that’s what living an active mindful life is all about.

Instant Fitness Transformation

The key to this instant transformation is simple, but not always easy. All you have to do is:

1. Let go of results –

The results don’t come from the future, they come straight from your body as you move.

2. Let go of expectations –

easy or hard, each moment of exercise can bring a new discovery if you let it.

3. Let go of your image –

No matter what you do, your body will eventually fall apart. But this moment can be powerful, if it’s not about how you look.

4. Let go of imperfection –

Don’t believe people when they tell you you’re broken. Instead, listen to the truth in your heart that tells you you’re whole.

5. Let go of yourself –

The real transformative power of exercise comes when you get out of the way. The energy that flows through you is ancient and primal. When you become open to moving without it being about you, then you can truly access a place of amazing presence.

Invitation

I invite you to join me in changing our lives, not by running a hundred miles, but by running the next one with attention.

I invite you to join me in this present moment, whenever we get the chance.

I invite you to join me in exercising the power of your life.

Because exercise isn’t just the path. Exercise and the connection it creates to your body is the destination you arrive at over and over again on the journey to a more mindful and balanced life.

October 30, 2013 by Toku on Mindset

Which World Do You Belong To?

I recently saw this Image

And then I read about the controversy that surrounded it.

The thing I took away was that for some people there exists two worlds.

The Two Worlds

The first world:

is made up of people that look like this

And This

And They Eat Things Like This:

And This

And They Post Things On Their Facebook Pages Like This:

And This

The Second World

is made up of people that look like this

And This

And They Eat Things Like This:

And This

And They Post Things On Their Facebook Pages Like This:

And This

If you read the internet then you probably think

This is what the first world thinks about themselves:

I worked hard to get this body and I’m proud of it.
I’m sexy and people like that, how could that be wrong.
Life is about staying focused, being successful, and looking good.

This is what the second world thinks about themselves:

It’s not my fault I’m overweight. It’s bad genetics, it’s McDonalds, it’s my kids etc.
I hate that I’m fat, but I can’t change it.
I look awful and feel awful about myself
or
I’m proud to be fat and I don’t give a crap what you think.

This is what the first world thinks about the second:

Stop making excuses and start getting in shape.
You have no one to blame for your weight but you. If you worked as hard as I do you could look as good as me.
It sucks that people bully you, but what do you expect. If you really want to shut them up pick up a barbell and put down that fork.

This is what the second world thinks about the first:

Those fitness models probably all have eating disorders.
Fit people have OCD and they are all about shaming fat people.
Those bodies aren’t realistic and they are causing people to hate themselves.

Well I’m here to tell you that all of this is:

BULLSHIT

We all live in one world where people look like this:

And This

And This

And This

And They Eat Things Like This:

And This

And They Post Things On Their Facebook Pages Like This:

And This

The One World

The world is complicated and diverse. But there is one of it.

So I encourage you to not put yourself in one group or another, but to see that we all long to be more whole, to be more connected, to be more wise, and to be more loving.

The problem with images like this

Is that they divide the world into two.

Those that make excuses and those that don’t

Those that work hard and those that don’t

Those that look like this and those that don’t.

But there aren’t two worlds, there aren’t two moons, and there aren’t two you’s.

The you who you are and you who could be.

There is only you perfect and whole just as you are.

And everything you are, or have been, or will be is right there in the center of your chest.

Whenever you forget this –

Close your eyes

And say to yourself

May I be free from fear and anxiety

May I be at ease

May I be happy

Repeat this whenever you need a moment to love who you are right here right now

Thanks for reading! Please subscribe this blog to join hundreds of people who want to honor their lives and create amazing lasting change. Plus get your free guide A Sexy Guide to Your Sexy Mind just for signing up.)

If you liked this post you might also like these posts:

How NOT to Suck at Dieting

Why Being Perfect Sucks

Minimalist Health: 5 Unbelievably Easy Ways To Live Healthier

Mind Fit Food – 5 Tips for Keeping a Mindful Fitness Journal

Or Subscribe and Never Miss a Post Again!

Photo Credits

July 28, 2013 by Toku on Meditations

Be Free, Organized, and Happy – The Best Posts May – July

The last 3 months have been really big for MindFitMove –
This blog has moved from 1,200 views in April to having over 6,000 views in July
In July I broke through not only the 10,000 view barrier but have now blasted past the 15,000 mark as well.

So here are the best posts of the Last 3 Months:

Plus here are some of the guest posts I wrote in the last 3 Months

I have many people to thank for this including but not limited to Jane Endacott my romantic partner and often editor, my parents, Lori Deschene of TinyBuddha, Peter Clemens of ChangeBlog, Leo Babauta of Zen Habits, and most importantly all of my readers who inspire, support, and keep honoring me with their attention.

Don’t Forget to Subscribe to Mind Fit Move for more great post from August and Beyong

Click here to join hundreds of people who receive regular posts from MindFitMove about changing your life with mindfulness and movement.
(+ get a free Beginners Guide To Mindful Fitness just for signing up.)

Photo Credits

July 24, 2013 by Toku on Mindset

Do You Define Yourself and Your Life Negatively? – My Guest Post On TinyBuddha.com

I was lucky enough to have a guest post today on the Website tinybuddha.com.

Please head over and check it out.

Do You Define Yourself and Your Life Negatively?

Picture is From Tiny Buddha Post

By Samuel Gentoku McCree

Growing up on military bases I learned to make friends quickly. My family moved a half dozen times before I was out of the second grade, so I didn’t have many other options. But while living on base it was easy, because all us military brats were in the same boat.

In third grade my dad retired from the Air Force and we went to live in a small town just south of Nashville, Tennessee. Once we moved everything changed. Instead of living with the sons and daughters of service families, I went …

Click here to Read More

This post will also be included in an awesome new course on tinybuddh.com about recreating your life story. Click here to take a 5 min quiz and find out about the course

June 25, 2013 by Toku on Skillset

Minimalist Mindful Fitness – 5 Key Practices

Minimalist Mindful Fitness – 5 Key Practices

(Avg. Reading time 4.5 Mins)

What the Hell is Mindful Fitness Anyway?
Recently I received this question from one of my readers:
“What activities and/or cues have you found to be most helpful in incorporating mindfulness into your clients’ activities? Walking, breathing, something more meaningful to each person? Do you have an activity that you tend to start with to introduce that concept?”

First off, I want to say this is a great question. Many people struggle with how to start practicing mindfulness and/or fitness with so many fitness options the possibilities can be a bit overwhelming.

So here is my
Minimalist Mindful Fitness Guide –
5 Key Practices to Get Your Started.

1. Intention –
The first practice I start with most of my clients is identifying their list of internal and external goals. We look at how many pounds they want to lose or how many miles the want to run, but we don’t stop there.

We also look at how they want to feel and what they think losing weight or getting in shape will do for them. By looking at their intentions first, they connect with deep motivations and a sense of purpose.

2. Journaling –
The second practice I recommend for all my clients is journaling. Many people trying to make a life change struggle with judgments, self doubt, and internal criticism. The purpose of journaling is to increase awareness without judgment.

I have my clients record a very basic journal of what they eat, what activity they do, and their state of mind. I also ask them to notice any connection between these three. Lastly, I encourage them to write down one thing everyday they are grateful for.

I do this before we start with any exercise or nutrition plan. Because I want them to just notice what’s going on.

Often without any prompting, they will identify ways they are sabotaging themselves or areas where they need to do some investigation.

Because this wisdom comes from within these revelations are much more powerful than anything, they’ve read in a book or heard from a trainer.

3. Habit Formation
Many trainers have a particular exercise regime or nutrition plan they employ with clients. But I believe the best nutrition and exercise plan is the one you will actually do.

The main problem with most diet and exercise plans is they demand too radical change too quickly. The main goal of the MindFitMove method is not to help you lose weight or gain muscle.

Let me repeat that again because I know it sounds crazy. The main goal of MindFitMove method is not to help you lose weight or gain muscle.

The main goal of this mindfulness based fitness approach is to help you create more awareness and then use that awareness to make different choices.

The first two practices help establish a baseline awareness. In habit formation we take that awareness and start making change a reality.

First, I find what that person likes to do and get them to do more of that. I believe that if it doesn’t fit smoothly in your life you won’t do it.

For example, I had one client who liked riding his bike so I got him to ride his bike up a steep hill 3 times a week. I had another client who lived next to a lovely park so I got them to walk and eventually jog in that park.

The hardest part of regular exercise is the regular part. By finding, a physical activity you enjoy or at least don’t despise. You vastly increase your chance for success.

4. Set the Stage
Once we’ve established baseline awareness and started creating new habits then we work with specific mindful fitness techniques.

The fundamental mindful fitness technique is creating an environment for mindfulness.

I encourage my clients to exercise outside, to exercise without the use of music, and to exercise with the intention to focus on their bodies.

These 3 techniques all help create an environment of mindfulness. And though they don’t require a ton of concentration. They do lay the groundwork for intense focus and spacious awareness.

5. Active Mindfulness – 4 Mindful Fitness Techniques
Once we’ve established an environment of mindfulness, then we use advanced mindfulness based fitness techniques to increase awareness and focus during exercise.

I’ve used these 4 mindful fitness techniques in my own practice as well as with my clients.

1. Noticing before and after –
At the end of your work out take a minute close your eyes and focus on how you feel now vs. how you felt before you exercised. This practice helps connect us with the ease that exercise can bring. It also tunes us in to any aches that may indicate any problem areas we need to work on.

2. Cadence –
Cadence is the rate at which your feet hit the ground when running, or the speed that your pedals turnover in cycling. When practicing with cadence we simply notice how it changes as we exercise.

Cadence helps us in two ways:
One. It helps us tune into our bodies natural rhythms
Two. Working to maintain a fast even cadence will decrease injuries and increase speed and efficiency.

3. Pay attention to sound –
The world is filled with sounds we never notice. But when we open our sense, we often find joy in the sound of chirping birds and the even pad of our feet on the trail.

In addition to enjoying our natural environment, sound can also reveal imbalances in our exercise form.

For example, I’ve noticed, as I get tired my footsteps get louder. Louder footsteps means higher impact and lowered efficiency. So, by working to run quietly I increase my speed and decrease the stress on my body.

4. Breath-
Breath practice often gives us cues about how we are approaching exercise and our life in general. No matter what the activity, noticing our breath can help us perform with greater skill and confidence.

In yoga, the breath helps us move the body in an even rhythm. In endurance events like running and cycling, our breath tells us when we are pushing too hard or moving out of sync. And in weight lifting, our breath not only helps us connect to movement, but also works to stabilize and strengthen our bodies.

Simply Amazing
There are 1000’s of books on fitness and eating, but most of them overcomplicate everything with complex theories and complicated techniques. What’s so amazing about these practices is how simple they are.

Using just these 5 practices people can make amazing progress towards establishing a mindfulness based fitness practice.

Mindful fitness isn’t about taking one model and applying it to everyone. It’s about establishing principles and then investigating how those principles apply to your life.

Because of that, no two people will ever approach mindfulness based fitness the same way. But it also means that this practice can adapt and change as you change. It can become an organic part of your own growth and that’s why it’s such an amazing tool for lasting transformation.

Thanks
Thanks very much to Kelsey for sending in this question. Kelsey has been one of my best and most loyal readers from the beginning of my blog. She is an awesome physical therapist and super cool lady.

If there is a question, you have please feel free to leave it below or email me and I’ll do my best to address it in one of my future posts.

Photo Credits

May 30, 2013 by Toku on Skillset

A Journey From Chaos to Calm Guest Post by Catie Cameron

Intro (AKA My Friend Catie Rocks!)
Today I’m lucky enough to present an awesome guest post by my old friend Catie Cameron. She is an aspiring writer, baker, and master of her many domains in Nashville, TN. She also wrote an awesome bakin blog http://flourmaiden.wordpress.com/ about the misadventures of a baker that I’m hoping she will start back up again.

She is blessing us with an inspiring story about her struggles with mental illness and how mindfulness and the support of others has helped her find new peace and acceptance in her life. I am honored that she is willing to share her story on my humble blog.

A Journey From Chaos to Calm by Catie Cameron
When you feel like you can’t control your own mind, you try to control everything else in your life. This way, when your thoughts are spinning, there’s something solid around you. This was how I felt for many years, not knowing it was a futile effort. It was only by letting go that I could stand still and find peace.

Tribulations
For most of my adulthood, I dealt with depression, yet with all my efforts, nothing felt right for long. Therapy, medication, exercise. Nothing. Perhaps the death of my younger brother in 2004 left an unpatchable crack. Or maybe it was something else, something deeper.

I even tried suicide twice, and couldn’t even do that properly. Now, I know it was the universe’s way of saying it wasn’t my time. There was something left for me out in this world.

Everything around me and in me felt wrong most of the time. There were months of happiness, but then I simply fell back down the well. Since I couldn’t stop my brain, I clung tightly to anything else that might save me. But when you squeeze too tightly to things, they break or pop.

Diagnosis
In December 2012, after yet another crippling bout of anxiety and massive depression, I mustered up just enough energy to take myself to the hospital. Finally, they diagnosed me as having Bipolar II Disorder. It was a terrifying and relieving experience, thinking maybe this was right.

The hardest part has been learning how to deal with it, in coming to terms with this. To many, Bipolar means you’re “crazy.” It’s easy to victimize yourself with mental illness, since others do the same. Once I realized that I wasn’t a victim of this disorder, I found much relief.

That’s the biggest part of this, really. Of coming to terms with BPII. It’s knowing I’m not a victim and that I can take responsibility for my thoughts and actions. That simple comprehension changed everything for me.

Having friends and family that support me and stay vigilant means more than I could have imagined. This was evident in my last hospital stay in December. The number of friends that came to see me, let alone my super-supportive older sister reminded me of how much I was loved.

Resolution
My therapist and I work a lot on mindfulness, as it’s quite beneficial for anxiety. Once I understood I could take responsibility for myself, I found I could practice mindfulness much easier. I don’t worry nearly as much about every little thing.

I also break up my day into smaller chunks, which helps with being in the Now. This may not work for everyone, but it does for me. There’s the work day, and the evening. My present moment is as small as I need to not feel overwhelmed.

I’m also taking medication for the BPII. The biggest realization is that it’s just an aid to my own efforts. Meds don’t cure this. Nothing does. It only takes my erratic brain waves from an EKG to a sine wave. Makes it manageable.

What I’ve Learned
One of the biggest ways I’ve found that helps in dealing with this disorder is knowing that no feeling is final. As much as I can, I sit with the bad feelings and acknowledge they exist and are real. Something about mentally staring them down and focusing on them helps them disappear. It also helps with knowing that I can take responsibility for them, by knowing I can choose to feel this way or not.

Accepting that some days I will have a tough time regardless, makes them feel less concrete. My therapist and I have devised a “First Aid Kit” of items to help in the healing of a downward slope. Mine includes chocolate, letters from friends, and a gift certificate for a movie. These small tokens allow myself to relax and let the day pass unfettered, again reminding me that this day will end and a brand new begins tomorrow.

What Helps
There’s something about knowing others love you and want to see you do well that helps. It aids me in getting up every morning. But getting up and living for myself is more important, I think. I know that I have gifts and talents that should be shared.

When it comes to helping loved ones going through a tough time like this, the best thing one can do is remind them how much they are treasured. Unfortunately, they can’t be fixed by any one person, but being at the bottom of that well, it’s nice to know there’s people up there waiting to see their faces again.

And that’s where this story ends, for now. Mental stability meant I could go back to the things I love, like rock climbing and writing a novel. And being a good friend, sister, girlfriend, citizen of the world.

May 10, 2013 by Toku on Mindset

Jeff Bezos & A Famous Dead Italian Woman Endorse Handwriting Sales Copy?

Reblogged From CopyHour.com
I was lucky enough to get a guest post featured on the Copyhour.com blog It’s not my normal topic, but It something I thought you might enjoy checking out.

This is a fascinating guest post from CopyHour member Samuel Gentoku McCree of MindFitMove.

“Imitation is the first instinct of the awakening mind.” – Maria Montessori

What if I told you Jeff Bezos and a dead Italian woman convinced me to sign up for CopyHour? You’d probably think I was crazy, right? Except that’s exactly what happened. Let me explain.

Small Busyness

I started my company MindFitMove, a mindfulness based fitness and self improvement business, back in September. As I got things going I had the same problem . . .

February 26, 2013 by Toku on Mindset

How Flipping A Coin Made Me Perfect At Yoga

I’m failing at yoga.
I mean totally blowing it.

My warrior two looks like warrior one. And my warrior one looks like someone broke off the top a bowling trophy.

An Endless Path
The other day a classmate observed that the path of Yoga is endless. We are always working towards greater subtlety and clarity. When he said this, I felt a lump in my throat.

In Yoga school, I am a neophyte extraordinaire. I’ve only practiced with a well-trained teacher for a few months.

Before this, I did mostly guerilla Yoga. It was fun and loose, and my teacher had studied at Youtube academy. I loved Yoga, but I didn’t have a lengthy, formal education.

They’re Pros
Most of my classmates have been practicing for years if not decades. I find their knowledge, skill, and flexibility to be humbling. I often feel like Bambi caught in a forest fire.

Still, Yoga’s not a competition right? Well I’m an American male so everything can be a competition. So there, I was in class thinking about how bad I was at this infinite art.

Then it struck me. There is another side to this coin. The side that sees my yoga as perfect.

Two Sides
There are two sides to every situation: the side that takes an ideal and compares us to it and the side that always sees wholeness. The first side we see all the time. The second side is hardly looked at.

No one can do my Yoga except for me. No one can face my body’s challenges except for me.

My whole life; karma, dharma, and everything else has brought me here.

Every step I make is a step on the path. I may stumble and fall, but I must walk.

There is no me some place else that’s doing it better. There is only the me that practices here and now. There is no moment other than this one and this moment is perfect.

MindFitMove Practice
Reflect on these three questions.
What if everything I do is perfect as it is?
What if everything everyone else does is perfect in this same way?
What if I could see this perfection in every moment?
How would it change my life and how I live?