What Made My Heart Explode

WOW!
There are moments  when the universe blows us away. Something clicks and boundless gifts, joy, and hope flow into our lives.

Sometimes blessings come after an accomplishment like:
-winning a race
-hitting our goal weight
– or finishing a long journey

Sometimes they arrive out of the blue like:
-receiving a thoughtful gift
-having a moment of clarity
– or meeting a new friend

No matter what the source, these moments are rich opportunities to practice gratitude. When we take our joy and give it back, it multiplies exponentially.

Young woman enjoying winter

I Believe in Yesterday
Yesterday was a day of joy for me. I had a guest post on TinyBuddha.com, and the number of subscribers I had more than doubled.

I am humbled and honored that so many people are interested in what I have to offer. In this moment, my heart is bursting with gratitude and joy.

I realized that this joy had not come only from my own efforts. I had to share this amazing feeling with those who have supported me. So I set out to do just that and this is what I came up with:

The 5 Steps of Gratitude
Step 1 – Thank Your Mind and Heart
We rely on our hearts and minds to do so much hard work. Yet, these parts rarely receive direct gratitude from us.

The first thing I did was close my eyes and offer gratitude to that which is within me.
As my mind and heart received this thanks I felt them relax in appreciation.

Step 2 – Thank Your Parents
The Buddha said, even if you were to carry you parents around, on your shoulders, for a hundred years plus, you could never repay them for their deep kindness.

So, I sent an e-mail to my folks. I shared my excitement and thanked them for their support. If your relationship with you parents is rocky, you can thank them silently or in a less direct way. The important thing is to acknowledge the energy that brought you into this world.

Step 3 – Thank Your Teachers
Whether it’s a college professor, spiritual guide, or friend who gives you great advice, it’s important to thank your teachers. Great teachers affect us in obvious and subtle ways. They guide us, inspire us, and bless us with wisdom.

I owe so much to my teachers Sensei Hogen Bays and Jan Chozen Bays Roshi. Studying with them opened my eyes to the possibilities of the world and to my own potential. Everything we learn was passed down to us. It’s important to acknowledge the shoulders we stood on to get here.

Step 4 – Thank Your Partner and Friends
No successful person can succeed alone. It takes so much support from others to do anything.

The first phone call I made was to my partner Jane Endacott. She has supported me in so many ways. She reads my blog, edits my posts, and tells me she is proud of me. In addition, she does all sorts of little things to support me.

My friends offer me guidance, hold me accountable, and show me I’m loved and accepted. This week I’m going to make sure to connect and thank each of them.

It doesn’t matter if you’re single or coupled; whether you have one or a hundred friends; it’s important to let them know how much they mean to you.

Step 5 – Thank Your Community
Your community might be a spiritual group, business colleagues, your family, or any other group that supports you.Communities support us by giving us a space to explore ourselves.

I sent out an email of thanks and celebration to Zen Community of Oregon as well as my yoga schoolmates at the Bhaktishop. Without the support of practice and the shared wisdom of these groups, I would be lost.

Bonus Step – Thank Anyone Else
As you start to think about who and what you are grateful for many people may come to mind. Take this chance when your heart is full to say thank you to whomever it is that makes your life possible. 

MindFitMove Practice
Think of a blessing you have received recently, big or small it doesn’t matter.
Make a short list of people, groups, or energies that helped make this blessing possible.
Make a vow to express gratitude to everyone or everything on your list.

What are you thankful for?

 

This Sucks! Zen and the Art of Difficult Emotions

I’m the worst person alive!
Over a year ago, I made a vow to make amends for all my unskillful actions. This process involved doing a moral inventory.

It’s a technique I borrowed from 12-Step work. (In the spirit of full disclosure I’ve never done 12-step work and am not an authority on that process.)

I decided to make a list of every bad thing I’ve ever done. This is super hard. At times, I felt like I was the worst person alive.

Photo of Crying Kid

Tell me how I failed!
The first list I made was long, but I knew there was more. So each night before bed I would sit and say to myself,

“I want to live a life of integrity. I am willing to accept the mistakes I have made. If there is any action I have forgotten and I don’t feel good about, I invite it to come into my awareness.”

After I said this, I would sit in silence for a few minutes. Often something would bubble up to the surface. No matter what it was I greeted it with gratitude and wrote it down.

Make it hurt!
When we start to improve our lives, we open more space. This leads to a sense of freedom and joy. It also allows unfelt emotions to surface.

When these emotions surface, it can feel like we’re moving backwards. In truth it means you are really digging in to real transformation.

The challenge is to face these emotions without trying to fix them. Allow them to arise, feel them, and then be willing to let them go.

5 Steps For Creating Space for Difficult Emotions

1. Set aside time.
You need at least 10-15 minutes, but it’s better to give yourself some wiggle room.

I found that just before bed was the best time for me. It helped me process the day. It also meant I didn’t take these emotions to bed.

2. Find Somewhere to Be Alone
It’s hard to be with difficult emotions around others. They may try to consol or distract you. The point is to just be present with what’s arising. Nature is great, or your bedroom, but if all else fails the bathroom is a good standby.

3. Invite the Emotions to Come In
An invocation can be helpful. State your intention, your willingness to accept what comes, and then invite any hidden emotions to arise.

3. Feel Your Body
If emotions arise, try not to focus on the content. Instead, focus on how the emotions feel in your body. Notice any beliefs that arise especially any absolute statements.

If these emotions become intense try to stay with it, but if your mind starts spinning, focus on your breath or your feet to become grounded.

4. Write it down
Once you have watched the emotion arise, exist, and ebb, write it down. Name the emotions and any beliefs that came with them. This can be a few sentences or much more, it’s up to you.

This gets it out of your head and gives you perspective.

5. Gratitude and Release
Now thank whatever came up for arising. Thank your heart for being willing to feel these hard feelings. Thank yourself for being willing to do this work. Then ask yourself, your heart, and/or a higher power to help you let these feelings go.

Remind yourself that you will do this again soon and that anything else can wait until then.

6. Grounding
Working with difficult emotions can be agitating. Afterwards take ten breaths, do a short yoga routine, or maybe read something inspiring. If you are still reeling try doing something to get in your body: light house work, a more vigorous yoga routine, or a longer meditation.

This practice can be very powerful. It’s not about wallowing, it’s about giving space to the powerful forces inside of us. When we are willing to be with challenging feelings, we gain the courage to face challenges in every aspect of our lives.

Discussion Question: How do you work with difficult emotions?

Disclaimer: For some people this practice is not suggested. If you notice the consistent arising of thoughts involving self harm or suicidal ideation stop using this technique and consult a licensed counselor or therapist before continuing.

If you feel like you need to speak with someone right away call your local crisis line or call A Lifeline Crisis center at 1 800 723 TALK (8255)

Photo Credits

 

Slow Down

That Time Of Year

This is the time of year where everything seems to be going so fast. It’s an acceleration to Christmas day, then New Years Eve, and then beyond. That’s why it’s so important that we slow down this time of year. When we get to the gym and find someone is using our machine or when we get to the store and find that the lines are long, irritation can arise. But these things are only a problem if we are in a hurry.

I’ve been told that in Russia for one to two weeks this time of year almost everything closes down. Because everything is closed people have no choice but to slow down and enjoy time with their loved ones. In many places things may only close for a day or two around the holidays so we have to make the choice to slow down.

Slow Down

When we slow down something truly amazing happens, we relax, we notice beauty, we become more kind, and we enjoy ourselves. But perhaps the most amazing thing of all is that we can get almost as many things done in the same amount of time. Frantic activity rarely leads to efficiency.

In addition to being more efficient we also perceive things differently. The lines move about the same at the grocery store, but because we slow down we don’t feel like they are going too slow. People may be on our favorite equipment, but because we slow down, we remember there is a new workout routine we’ve wanted to try out.

Theres no Hurry

Being around others who are in a hurry can be contagious so when you find yourself feeling frantic, try out these tips to help you slow down –
· Take a few deep breaths
· Reconnect with your heart
· Take a walk, run, or bike ride (alone if that’s what you need)
· Leave extra space in your day by planning ahead or managing expectations
· Let go of how things are ‘supposed to be’; being calm and relaxed is a better than any perfect dish, ritual, or present

When we are in a hurry nothing seems possible, our lives contract, and we rush from one thing to the next. When we slow down our lives expand, many things are possible, and we greet each new activity with a fresh and excited mind. Make the choice to slow down; it’s the best way to spread peace on earth and good will to men and women alike.