change Archives - UNEXECUTIVE

Build A Future You Can Be Proud Of

July 2, 2015 By Toku

You always say you want to change your habits, get more leads, write a blog, create a lovely home, and have better relationships. But you struggle to make these things happen.

Then you look around and try to figure out why it isn’t happening. You think, “Maybe I just don’t have the right information.” So you go off and read another book.

You think, “Maybe, I’m just not motivated enough.” So you listen to Tony Robbins to pump yourself up.

You think, “Maybe, I’m just too busy.” So you tell yourself that you’ll get started when things slow down (which they never do).

“Maybe,” you think to yourself, “Maybe…”

The capital T – TRUTH
The only thing that’s standing between you and change is consistency.

You can make all the excuses you want, you can look for better information, or you can try to find a hack, but nothing – and I mean nothing – will help you be more successful in life and love than putting in the unglamorous and consistent effort.

It’s less about the one big day you make it and way more about all the little days you wake up and do the work, even if you don’t think you’re making any progress.

Stop looking for shortcuts. Stop making excuses. Instead decide that tomorrow you’re going to wake up and get to work. You’ll be amazed at how much progress you’ll make.

Sometimes You Fight Slug Monsters

October 21, 2014 By Toku

Why I didn’t post a blog today:

An Essay By Toku The Martyr of The Slug Monster War

Somedays everything comes easy. You sit down at your computer to work and it’s like magic. The words flow, the ideas congeal, and you become a veritable ass kicker of clear and succinct prose.

And then there are the other days where you stub your toe, you space the super important phone call, and writing or working feels like an epic struggle against gargantuan slug monsters that latch themselves to your brain and extract every decent idea you have while they slowly drip self doubt and hopelessness directly into your blood stream.

For me today was one of those days.

But that’s ok.

The key to being happy and mindful is knowing that these days happen.

And that even though the slug monsters won today, tomorrow is another day and another chance to fight the evil hordes of doubt and unclarity, and more likely than not emerge victorious.

Please remember we all have bad days.
Sometimes it’s just your turn.

Photos

Have You Made The One Choice That Changes Everything?

April 23, 2013 By Toku

One Choice
There is one choice that can change everything about you.

It’s not choosing positive thinking, or a new workout regime. It’s not choosing which job to take or whom to date. These are all important choices but this choice is bigger.

It can change all of those things and more. It’s a revolutionary choice. It’s a dynamic choice; a choice that sets you apart from the crowd; a choice that stands at the center of your life.

The problem is it’s not an easy choice. It takes sacrifice, but it’s worth it. It’s worth almost anything you give up, because this choice is the first step to lasting transformation.

This amazing, rare, and hard choice is the choice to take responsibility for your life. You may think you’ve already done this. But lets look at what this choice is and what it isn’t.

Taking Responsibility Is Not About:

Blaming Yourself
Taking responsibility means empowering yourself. Whereas blaming yourself, means becoming a victim.

Responsibility isn’t about being perfect. It’s about accepting our imperfection and taking a step towards a whole way of being.

When you blame yourself, you become your faults. When you take responsibility, you become your potential for change.

Taking Control
Much of what happens is out of our control. It’s hard to accept but it’s true. And taking responsibility isn’t about trying to change that.

When we take responsibility, we just shift focus. We let got of the uncontrollable. And instead work to guide our own hearts and minds.

When we focus on our own growth, we find that the uncontrollable doesn’t change. But our relationship to it does.

Taking Responsibility for Others
No matter how hard we try, we can’t change anyone else. Taking responsibility isn’t about changing other people.

It’s about owning our own path. When we live our lives in integrity and faith, we give others the chance to do the same.

Taking Responsibility for the World
The world can be a crazy place. It’s worthwhile to have compassion, but we have to realize we aren’t responsible for the world’s problem.

We are only responsible for our inner peace or inner chaos. Wanting to change the world is wonderful. But before we can change the world, we must change ourselves.

Taking Responsibility Is About:

Owning Your Words
The first step to taking responsibility is owning what you say. Too often, we use language that blames others and disempowers ourselves.

Instead of saying, “I have to,” say “I choose to.” Everything we do is a choice. We may not like the other options and some choices are hard, but denying responsibility won’t help.

Instead of saying, “They made me,” say, “When they did x I chose to do y.” Reactivity happens, but if we want to be skillful, we have to own our reactions.

When we own what we say we start to see where we can make a change.

Owning Your Actions
Once you start owning what you say, you’ll find you almost have to own what you do. Our lives are made of everything we choose to do and not do.

By taking responsibility for our actions, we gain integrity. We also begin to gain insight into why we act the way we do. In this way, taking responsibility for our actions becomes the foundation for changing our lives.

Owning Your Thoughts
It all starts with your thoughts. If you don’t think it, you don’t do it. You can’t always choose what thoughts arise, but you can choose which ones to indulge.

Ask yourself, “Is this a helpful thought?” If it is, go for it. If it’s not, don’t put any more energy into it.

At first, this will seem impossible, but with practice, you can learn to let go of unhealthy thoughts and generate supportive ones.

Creating a Foundation for Respect
Once you start owning your words, actions, and thoughts something changes. You begin to respect yourself in a new way.

When you respect yourself, others will respect you as well. The best part is this respect isn’t based on power. It’s based on having a good heart and integrity.

This kind of respect can’t be manufactured. It has to be grown organically from a strong center of responsibility.

Making Transformation Possible
When we take responsibility, we begin to see who we are. Once we know this, we can choose who we want to be.

By taking responsibility of who we are, our light is able to shine through. Excuses, blaming, and complaining only hide that true light.

Don’t indulge them. Choose to shine.

Be A Bad Student.

January 14, 2013 By Toku

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Be A Bad Student.

I was a bad student.
I regularly got kicked out of class for talking back. I got sent to the vice principal’s office. I almost had to repeat fourth grade. In high school I failed geography and German.

Mix and Match
All my life, I’ve been a mix of a good student and a bad student. In some classes I was attentive, creative, focused, and in love with the subject. In other classes I was bored, distracted, and didn’t respect my teachers.

My math classes were like this. In other subjects I was in honors classes. With math I was in the regular classes. I lacked a natural aptitude for math, but I did ok. Until my senior year …

Things Change
In my senior year I had an amazing math teacher, Mr. Stelmaszak. He was different than other math teachers. He was like a cross between Rain Man and Kramer.

Mr. Stelmaszak was excited about math. And he wanted us to be excited too. Amazingly, he helped me enjoy doing math.

So I studied hard, really hard. And that semester, I was awarded ‘most outstanding trigonometry student.’

It wasn’t because I was great at doing the homework. It was because I fell in love with the subject. Even better, I learned more than just trig that semester.

I learned to be flexiblie. I learned I could find joy in the strangest places. Best of all, I learned about myself.

Unnatural Success
Being a bad student and slow learner can be one of the best gifts to receive. It forces us to learn, to overcome, to adapt, and to grow.

I see this in my friends and clients alike. The people who make the biggest gains are the ones who aren’t naturally good.
When we are bad students we must be a better student of ourselves. As the Dalai Lama says, “Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”

Stumble
Being a natural is fine, but stumbling is even better. When we stumble, we see our blind spots.

If you aren’t naturally good at something you have to work harder. You have to stretch to get better. It’s the stretching that makes deep transformation happen.

Speak Up
How have your struggles helped you grow?

What mistakes helped you become who you are today?

Please comment below and let me know.

MindFitMove Practice
Imagine you have a good friend who is struggling to maintain a fitness or eating practice.
Then think about everything you have learned on your own journey of transformation.
What are 3 things you could tell your friend to encourage, inspire, and motivate them?
Write a letter to this imaginary friend.
Start with “Dear, Friend I know you want to quit, but …”
Next take and put the letter in an envelope.
Put it aside.
Next time you are having a hard time take it out and read it.
We are always our own best teachers.

The Most Important Factor – The Arrow

December 22, 2012 By Toku

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I wrote a post a couple weeks ago on how to embody the classical spiritual triptych of the archer, the arrow, and the target. The idea arose out of a Yoga class where the teacher talked about how we are each: an archer, aiming for what we want to become; an arrow, the thing that is moving towards the target; and the target, that which we are aiming at becoming. This post will focus embodying the arrow; the self that is dynamically moving towards our goal.

Let Go

The most important thing about embodying an arrow is to let go of planning. Often the fitness industry sells the idea of a great plan that will get you ‘there’ faster, easier, and for less money. Picking the right plan is important to prevent injury, to develop in a balanced way, and to maximize your efforts, but it’s not the most important factor.

The Arrow

An arrow flows with what is around it, It dips and weaves with the air, having a conversation with it’s environment. As you work towards any goal you must be willing to embody the flexibility the arrow demonstrates.

When we are the archer we see the line to the target as straight line. If we are an excellent archer we take into account things like wind and terrain when we shoot. But as soon as the arrow is loosed, it becomes the object of response and adaptation.

If we resist this subtle flow and adaptation and try to fly in a mathematically straight line we will have a much harder time hitting our target. It is essential when being the act of transformation that we let go of how we thought things would be. Instead we must embrace what is.

Practice

How can you embody the arrow this week and let go of some expectations? What if you were to relax into whatever activity you are engaged in? Take some time this week and try being the arrow of change and see how it changes your attitude towards your exercise or fitness practice.

Transformation is the practice of people who transform their lives. I have met many people in my life who have transformed their lives and they all have in common is they are still transforming their lives. They never stop. If the arrow stops moving, it ceases to be an arrow. Make sure that in moving forward you don’t forget to flow with everything else as well.