Tell the Truth

You know you should tell the truth.

You know the truth will set you free. You feel the power of the truth, but this power scares you.

When it comes time to talk, you don’t speak the truth. You say something else. Something you think they want to hear. You avoid hurting others’ feelings by lying. You lie. And then you rationalize why that’s the best course of action.

You spend a great deal of time waiting for other people to show up. Waiting for other people to tell the truth. Waiting for other people to be honest.

You think, “I’ll say ‘I love you’ when she does.” You think, “I’ll be honest with him when he reveals his agenda.” You think, “I’ll show him I trust him when he demonstrates his trust in me.”

But this never works. When we wait for the world to show up, the world sits and waits.

Trust doesn’t work like this. Life doesn’t work like this. If you want to get what you want, to create what you want, and to have relationships that are full of meaning. You have to be willing to reveal the truth with friendly candor.

The only thing that will stop you is the fear of “what if”.

What if she doesn’t love me? What if his agenda is evil? What if he isn’t worthy of my trust?

But action never changes a “what if.” If she doesn’t love you, she doesn’t love you. If he has an agenda, he has an agenda. If he isn’t worthy of trust, that isn’t going to change.

So why wait? Why would you see the monster at your bedroom door and pull your sheets over your head? Sheets won’t protect you.

Monsters are scary, but pretending is worse.

Be honest, show up, tell the truth, speak with candor, boldly reveal yourself.

You may not get you what you want, but you’ll increase the momentum to get it. And the sooner you know that sooner you can face it and become the person you need to be to move past it.


Carry Your Torch

Carry Your Torch

The other morning I watched a friend give a talk at a business meet up. And as I watched her speak, I noticed my mind thinking about how successful and vibrant she was. I found myself wishing that I could be like that. And then I felt sad that I wasn’t

Comparing Mind

This is something we do all the time. You look at others, compare yourself, and find that you are lacking.

However, as I had these thoughts I paused and started thinking about what was going on. I realized that not only were my thoughts not making me happy they weren’t true. I was actually creating a separation that didn’t exist.

You see that’s part of the trick of our human minds. When our minds encounter anything, it labels it. And with each label comes separation. Our brains say that thing is there and I am here. And while this is helpful for avoiding things like dodge balls and cars, it can be a big problem when we meet other people.

You think he is successful and in the same breath, I am a failure. You think she is beautiful while thinking I am ugly. We label and judge, but we do so at the cost of our true selves and the deep wisdom we possess.

Stepping Back

You see when I stepped back from my friend I realized that yes she was vibrant and alive in a way that I am not. But this is only a problem if I see the world as full of separate people with our own little vial of greatness. And if her vile is more full, then mine is less so.

But that’s not the way the world really is. The world is much more like an expanding crystal where each shard and fragment depends and grows from every shard around it.

It doesn’t matter if the shards are big or small. It doesn’t matter if the shards are clear or vibrant. Each shard depends on the one next to it and each shard partakes of the beauty of the whole.

You see my friend is a beautiful embodiment of her story. But it’s not in detriment to my story. My story is beautiful and unique in it’s own way, just like yours is. And whether or not the whole world see’s that isn’t important. What is important is that as I live my story and as she lives hers, we both serve something greater.

We both carry forward this torch that shines light on the power of being your authentic self. And whether or not her flame is a mile tall and mine is only the size of a candle. It takes both of us carrying that torch to light the world around us.

An Invitation

So I invite you to pause and notice those people in our lives who we envy, are jealous of, and resent. And instead of seeing them as taking something from you, see if you can see them as creating more of what makes this life amazing for all of us.

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