appreciate

by Toku on Mindset

Be Gentle … It’s My First Time

First Kiss

Picture from Tampa Band Photos

Do you remember your first time?
The anticipation, the subtle scent of perspiration, and the heavy breathing. Maybe you were with someone you cared about, but maybe you felt alone.

I felt this way, my first time. It was exciting, challenging, and sometimes confusing. I thought I knew what I was doing, but it was more than I had expected.

Afterwards I was tired, sore, and sweaty. I felt like I had accomplished something. I remember thinking; I’ll never forget this. I’ll never forget, the first time, the first time I did Cross Fit.

The First Time
Just accept it. The first time you do anything, it’s going to be hard. Some people are naturals, but more often, they’re naturally awkward.

Don’t worry! There are many great things about doing something new. Here are a few things to focus on when you try something new.

The Basics
See that woman at the yoga studio doing prasarita into a headstand. She looks pretty cool right? Think about how cool you would look. Maybe I’ll just try to … STOP! You aren’t that woman.

The best way to start is with the basics. Don’t do complex workouts or heavy weight lifting. Learn the basics and build from there.

Learning bad form increases your chance of injury and limits your ability to go further in your practice. A strong set of fundamentals, will help you achieve more ,whether it’s in weight lifting, yoga, or cross fit.

Ask Me Anything
Who wants to be the guy/girl who doesn’t know anything? You want to be in the ‘IN’ crowd,

The only thing worse then a neophyte, is a falsely confident one. When you are new, let yourself be helpless. People like being treated like experts.

Ask a thousand questions. You never know what might help you and another student afraid to ask.

Notice Negative Thoughts
Starting something new activates your inner critic. Your inner critic is the voice or the part of you that tells you you’re screwing up.

Notice this voice arising. It will say you are awkward, slow, and crazy to try something new. Don’t listen to it, but don’t ignore it either. Just notice it, realize this voice isn’t you, and let it go.

Your inner critic wants you to do well. But it only has one tool and that tool is criticism. By noticing what your inner critic is saying you can work with it.

Be Proud
Be proud of yourself for starting something new, especially if you are over the age of 30. Many people’s lives shrink as they get older. The only way to counter act this is to make trying new things a habit.

I’m not suggesting you pursue novelty, but learning new things is a great way to help us pay attention and appreciate all life has to offer.

MindFitMove Practice
– Pick something to try and do it.
– Sign up for an introductory class, join a meet up group, or find a local yoga shop.
– Don’t invest big money, but make a small commitment to get started this week.
– Make your initial commitment small but consistent.
– You may discover that you don’t like it, but that’s ok.
– You’ll have more time to explore something else.

 

 
by Toku on Skillset

What Are 3 Aspects of Being A Great Student?

So I haven’t posted in a few days 14 to be exact and I am working on a response to a great question asked of me, but it won’t be ready today so instead I give to you, one answer from my Yoga School application. I know it’s kind of cheating, but I think it was illuminating for me to read what I wrote here and I hope that it helps you as well. I think it applies to almost any situation we find ourselves in that asks us to be a student.

 

What are 3 aspects of being a student of yoga that are important, and why?

1. It’s important to watch the mind that grasps for achievement – The western mind can be, by virtue of the society in which it was raised, a bit competitive. I know that I have had the competition bug in me and that it can come out no matter what I do. This can happen in yoga just as much as anything else. I want to have perfect form, I want to be more flexible than others, etc. etc. There is nothing wrong with wanting to study and practice with skill, because without any determination I would drop any practice as soon as it got hard. What I have found is that I must expect to lose myself in the effort, rather than gain a new sense of self through it.  

2. It is important to let go of preferences – I think this is true in all aspects of life, but especially when being a student. Each of us can get a certain idea in their head, about how things should happen. The mind believes that if it can think about something enough and set up a model it will prevent suffering and death. In truth these ideas are what lead to suffering in the first place. I know that when I set my preferences and opinions aside and become open to what is happening, that I learn more about myself and any practice I engage in. Holding my preferences lightly and also respecting my own boundaries allows me to stay in the realm of learning with my whole heart. This is a practice I engage in at all times, but I think is essential to keep in mind when studying yoga.

3. Remembering to be present in the body – Meditation, zazen, yoga and many other similar practices are often thought to practices of the mind, but they are practices primarily of the body, or more correctly the mind body. I have a tendency, born of my study of western philosophy, to think of the mind and body as separate. I often tend towards the superiority of the mind over the body, a sort of mind over matter attitude. This way of thinking is not right view. The mind and the body are not two things. To hold the mind and the body upright are holding one thing together. I think I always have to remind myself to be present in the body rather than to try to think my way through something.

 
by Toku on Mindset

I wrote this on my IPhone

06_archimedes_35438535_620x433I had a conversation with a friend recently about whether or not she should purchase an IPhone. I listened as she justified and unjustified the purpose of the purchase. She listed reason pros and cons about having or not having one. This is a pattern I have noticed often in my self and others.

It’s funny that we do this. We decide we want something and then our mind goes into overdrive trying to figure out how to make sense of the desire. It comes up with reasons to agree with what we already want, in part to hide that really we just want it. Often we want it for simple reasons like peace, joy, and fun, but we feel we have to justify it.

When I reflect on what this mindset, I can see this little story and it goes: “I’m not that special I don’t deserve x,y,or z, unless I can justify why it might make me special or a least mitigate my unspecialness.
By not letting ourselves treat and reward ourselves we perpetuate the mindset of not being worthy.

This past year I wanted to buy a new fancy road bike, but felt I had to justify it. After listening to me go through this process, my good friend Lashelle told me , “It’s ok to just want something nice.” I realized she was right and it felt so liberating.

I did buy the bike and instead of feeling like I was buying it to fix something wrong with me, I felt like I was buying it to celebrate all the hard work I had done. Just a small shift in my perspective allowed me to let go of that negative self talk just a little bit.

Take some time this week to celebrate yourself. You don’t have to go out a buy something big or fancy, but take a few minutes to celebrate all the things you do to help other and yourself. In buddhism this is called reflecting on virtue.

Very often we don’t give ourselves enough credit. So give your self a pat on the back already.

Thanks for reading and be well,
Gentoku

 
by Toku on Mindset

What’s so great about impermanence anyway?

IMPERMANENCE!

 
#BPlightrays
If you have practiced Buddhism or a few other eastern traditions at all you’ve heard about it, read about it, been admonished about it, and more. Even if you haven’t you have experienced it. The ever changing now, the subtle shift of the winds, the endless march of time, whatever your preferred referent it’s quite clear, all things are in a state of flux.

Often impermanence gets a bad wrap as the thing that takes whatever we love away from us, but from the right perspective impermanence is also what gives life’s it’s special significance.

The moments we cherish very often signify change.  A great example of this is the sunset. People all over the world admire and relish the colors, the shifting light, the change in noises, that the sunset brings. The sunset embodies a moment of change.

The sun moves all day long and maybe we notice the changing angles of light, the shift in temperature, but maybe we don’t. In the Northwest United States, for example, the shift of the sun often occurs behind a curtain of impenetrable grey.

The sun set (or sun rise) is a time when the movement demands our attention, often with a dramatic effect. It signals that this day is ending, that even the huge forces that seem so stable to us are shifting in front of our very eyes.

If you’ve ever sat and watched a sunset you know this to be true. The sun a massive ball of plasma, falls beneath the horizon faster than you realized it could. It’s our attentiveness to this change that helps us see the beauty.

There are many other examples of beauty found this way in change, migrating birds, the opening of flowers, the first snow, the first spring shower, the first warm day of summer, and many more. These moments bring us into the present moment and show us that this flow of life is filled with an amazing vitality.

When I stand in the middle of one of these moments, I can feel my life sliding underneath me. Like that moment when the waves cross over one another at the beach. They seem like they are both coming out and going in all at once. This feeling is raw and scary, but it something I live to feel. It’s this feeling that makes me realize how precious each grain of my life truly is.

Take some time this week and reflect on something that you enjoy watching change. Think about how changes in the day, the seasons, even the people around you create beauty in your life.

Change is what enables us to become new people to learn new things. It keeps everyday fresh and unexpected. It only becomes a problem when we fear it.

Thanks for reading and Be Well,
Gentoku