Get ready! I’m about to share with you the strategies I use to make gut-wrenching decisions not so gut-wrenching! To help mitigate any of that nasty fear, indecisiveness, and overall suffering that comes with making tough choices.
The first tactic might come as a surprise for all you go-getters out there, but it only means that it’s even more crucial for you to understand….
1) It’s Time to Lower the Bar!
While I know that it’s awesome to have standards and expectations, sometimes we set the bar so high that we will entirely avoid taking any steps toward what we want under the premise of it being “unrealistic”. Many times, this is just a manifestation of our own fears and insecurities.
I’ve found that the best way to work with this fear-based thinking is to make the conscious effort to reduce your expectations by 10%.
This is not to say that you should completely disregard what you truly desire– you can still maintain the full integrity of your goal, but also cut yourself some slack and take off some of the paralyzing pressure.
2) Ask yourself, Am I looking to be saved?
Many times we will delay action through the false hope that someone will show up to save us, or an opportunity will just magically fall into our lap…
This is all so that we don’t have to confront our own authority and actually empower ourselves to change the trajectory of the current situation.
This manifests when you say things to yourself like,
If my partner would just learn how to communicate better, everything would be easier.
If the new hire already understood our system, we wouldn’t have to train them.
If my boss would just give me better direction, I wouldn’t waste so much time and I’d perform a lot better.
The most important thing you can do to combat fear is to take responsibility for your situation rather than placing the blame on external sources or factors.
Make a conscious effort to shift your situation. Remember that even if you don’t 100% meet your expectations, you will 100% benefit from doing the work and going through the motions of being your own game-changer!
3) Try A Decision Out! Take Your Choice For a Joy-ride!
If you’re not sure whether the decision you’re debating between is a good fit for you, why not try living as if you’ve already made a choice?
Begin to embody what living with your partner is like, as if you’re already married. Do you feel more excitement? More stable? Or does it make you feel suffocated?
Act as if you just hired that new team member by giving your current hire a fresh round of training and guidance… Did that help them improve? Or should you seek to train someone else?
Go to your job and live as if you’ve already set an end date. Apply for new jobs, or start creating your own means of income, as if you were already unemployed. How does it feel?
Often we resolve ourselves to being stuck in the back and forth of indecisiveness, and completely disregard the momentum and beautiful opportunity that springs up when we finally just choose to act. For better or for worse, you are always learning, there is always something to takeaway from your actions.
Which leads into the final strategy…
4) Choose Something and Put Your Whole Life Behind It!
At the end of the day you will stand to gain from choosing something and not looking back. Very few choices are truly permanent. You can always look for another job. Getting divorced or being single isn’t the end of the world. Hiring people or delaying for 90 days won’t kill you.
The reality is that you really won’t know what it’s like on the other side of a choice until you make the decision and go through with it.
After all, the choice is only gut-wrenching while holding yourself back from making a decision.
Usually we get caught up in gut-wrenching choices because of the (often negative) story we tell ourselves about who we’ll be or what our world will look like after taking action.
If I choose to break up, I’m a failure at relationships.
If I let this person go, I’m admitting they were a bad hire or even worse I’m disloyal to our team.
If I leave my job, I’m flighty and unreliable.
While these notions may seem trivial at best, they can really take hold of you on a subconscious level, and paralyze you from acting in your own best interest.
It’s why we benefit from asking ourselves, “What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?”
Because it invites us to move beyond our fear and into a realm of what is truly possible. To take a chance on ourselves.
It takes courage to face your fears and make a gut-wrenching decision, but it’s the only thing that will actually help you move forward.
And hey, at the end of the day, you’ll have 35,000 more decisions to make tomorrow… So in the grand scheme of things, it’s only going to be a small drop in the ocean of choices.
What will you choose?
If you’d like to discuss the topic further, please do not hesitate to apply for a call with me and we can break down the inner workings of decision-making on a more personal level!