Finding “The One”

We often think about finding “The One” in the context of romance and love, but the same thing exists in business. If only you could find a good sales manager. If only you could craft the perfect ideal customer profile. If only you could discover the right product-market fit.

As leaders, we can waste years of our lives wishing and struggling to find THE ONE (whatever) that will make everything easier.

But the choice is not between finding The One and settling for whatever shows up now. If you want to create art with your leadership you have to learn to seek The One while also creating it everyday.

Here’s how:

1. Get really clear on your vision for The One: If you want a particular kind of team or vision, get clear on what that would look like for you. Define it. See it. Create it in detail first. 2. Prepare the space: Look at yourself. What is it about you as a leader or your business that would or wouldn’t appeal to this kind of person? Perhaps you’ve met The One but they took another job because you weren’t ready for them. 3. Seek The One: Begin to look for The One. Be relentless but patient. Finding The One may take time. But keep at it. Beware the despair that comes from not achieving what you want as soon as you would like.
4. Address what you can in you/your business: Once you’ve accessed what would turn away The One if he/she/it arrived, work on being the kind of business where The One would want to stay. 5. Create The One: This is actually the secret shortcut when it comes to finding The One. And it means you can skip the first four steps. The secret shortcut is: create The One in the people you have right now.

What makes this last step possible?

Well, the myth of The One is largely based on the idea that there is someone out there who is perfect for us, and solves all of our problems. But no one like this truly exists. Everyone comes with flaws and challenges. Sure, there are incredibly talented people and really great copy, but nothing is perfect.

And once you accept this, you can see that if The One is going to come with flaws anyway, then there’s no reason not to believe that the people you have right now—with all of their flaws (AND all of their strengths)— couldn’t be The One.

The challenge is when you don’t see that as possible, when you keep searching for the magic bullet despite what you have right in front of you. But overcome this limiting belief, and you can create The One with the people you have now.

This has its own steps:

1. Decide the people/idea/perspective you have now is The One: Simply choose it, accept them, find a way to make The One totally what you have right now. 2. Draw out the brilliance of what’s in front of you: Spend time deeply understanding the strengths and weaknesses of the person/idea/ perspective that you currently have and figure out how to help him/her/it to blossom. Help him/her/it to feel or see who they truly are, love what limits them, and help them lean into their greatness.

Oh and by the way… this is also the secret for attracting The One. If you are this kind of leader you will not only create The One in everyone around you, you will become an antenna transmitting into the world that people will be drawn to. You will become The One other people are looking for.

That’s the strange thing about finding The One. The way most of us think about it keeps us trapped forever. Once we let go of that idea, and own the creation of The One, we become a creator of The One in everyone we meet. Our being as a person and our presence as a leader becomes the thing that makes all the things we used to hope for appear right before us.