I’m losing the ability to see people as perfect women only gorgeous in my eyes men with the perfect way of being the idea that some version of me will be seen as a perfect knight in perfect shining armor what I’m left with is just us messy humans pooping and sweating getting older making […]
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Can you help me meet myself? Because that’s what you said That we could never hope that someone would meet us Not fully That we could only In the slow tenderness Of long nights And long cries Meet ourselves And so If we’re no longer looking For an empty piece For a heart to match […]
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When I met Madeline she was already incredibly successful. She made more money than most of her friends, had a position with a decent amount of power, and had left a busy life in Paris to live in her dream city by the coast. But she was unsettled. We were talking because she wanted to […]
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Each day Waking to a question in my mind Is it enough? This body with some muscles and some fat some wrinkles creeping in around my eyes some part of me leaking out when I don’t want Is it enough? This life of making coffee doing work I love but making less money than other […]
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If the world were full of angels, or robots, or digital avatars things would have the possibility to be perfect. But the world for good or for ill (and often both) are filled with humans. Humans have the potential for other worldly creativity, love, passion, dedication, sacrifice, and possibility. But they have the equal potential […]
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I love staying at nice hotels, but often they feel like a ripoff. While the La Quinta Inn in Walla Walla Washington offers free wifi, the Grand Hyatt in Los Angeles charges $5 a day. While In and Out offers free refills on sodas, some five star restaurants charge you $2.00 for every glass you […]
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Change in people follows a predictable pattern. Understanding this pattern can help you understand where you are in the change process and how to move to the next stage. Stage 1: Unconscious to conscious The first stage is going from unconscious to conscious. In recovery work it’s called admitting you have a problem. In meditation, […]
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Have you ever looked up from your phone only to realize that you’ve spent 30 mins researching what causes a rash. Or 40 mins watching short videos that added little else than vague amusement to your life. The internet is masterful at offering us easy to munch ideas, images, and experiences. It’s like a Dorito, […]
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I’ve been thinking a lot about time recently. How it bends and shifts. How weird it is, and how weird we get around it. Here are a couple of things I noticed that may help you have a better relationship with time. Displacement – Time is like a solid box and everything we put inside […]
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It seems like the world is obsessed with introverts. We want to understand them, laugh about them, and even try to change them. As an extrovert who has mostly dated introverted people I’ve laughed at the memes about introverts being relieved when people cancel plans, had my heart melt at comics about how loved introverts […]
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The true test of a man shouldn’t be how many women he can bed, or how much money he can make, but rather how much grace and graciousness he can show in receiving a no. No one likes to be rejected, shut down, or told no. It can give you a feeling of being stifled, […]
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I remember at one point last year in the isolation of the pandemic where the grief of my failed relationship and the acute sense of isolation felt unbearable. There was one night where I rubbed my eyes and stared at this horrible racing game I had been playing for hours. My mouth felt stick and […]
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Have you ever felt like you want to get to know someone better, but you just have no idea where to start? In life, it’s safe to say we’re going to meet and interact with all different kinds of people… On a few lucky occasions, we’ll come across a person that we get along with […]
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Sometimes when you’re a leader you get to decide the rules of your workplace and sometimes you don’t. This is especially true during the COVID pandemic. While some leaders own or operate their own businesses and can set their own policies, many leaders work inside larger organizations that set policies that you and the members […]
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Distinctions on Accountability Having worked with leaders from all walks of life and industries one topic that often brings a mix of desire and fear is accountability. High achievers CRAVE someone holding them accountable and those who lack confidence or fear they won’t stand up to scrutiny want to avoid it at all costs. The […]
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Distinctions on Accountability Having worked with leaders from all walks of life and industries one topic that often brings a mix of desire and fear is accountability. High achievers CRAVE someone holding them accountable and those who lack confidence or fear they won’t stand up to scrutiny want to avoid it at all costs. The […]
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Distinctions on Accountability Having worked with leaders from all walks of life and industries one topic that often brings a mix of desire and fear is accountability. High achievers CRAVE someone holding them accountable and those who lack confidence or fear they won’t stand up to scrutiny want to avoid it at all costs. The […]
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Distinctions on Accountability Having worked with leaders from all walks of life and industries one topic that often brings a mix of desire and fear is accountability. High achievers CRAVE someone holding them accountable and those who lack confidence or fear they won’t stand up to scrutiny want to avoid it at all costs. The […]
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Distinctions on Accountability Having worked with leaders from all walks of life and industries one topic that often brings a mix of desire and fear is accountability. High achievers CRAVE someone holding them accountable and those who lack confidence or fear they won’t stand up to scrutiny want to avoid it at all costs. The […]
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It’s human nature to seek comfort from difficulty. It’s what we learned to do as children. We needed comfort to keep the courage to face a scary world, so we found safety in people, in habits, in places, and in items like stuffed animals, blankets, and clothing. Even now picking up and considering these objects […]
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Everyone Should Have A Warning Label – Here’s mine
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“You have more influence to bring about change than you might think, but the key is knowing what to do with different kinds of people.” – Necessary Endings, page 122 Wise People “When the truth presents itself, the wise person sees the light, takes it in, and makes adjustments” says Dr. Cloud. Because they can […]
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There are three ways to look at death and all of them are wrong. 1. Death as an inevitable tragedy. We wonder at it, avoid thinking about it, honor it in predictable ways, and fetishize it all at once. This is the death of black veils and funeral rites. It’s the death of people passing. […]
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Everywhere you look there’s an invitation to a more exciting life. Commercials and advertising seem to promise a life of more fulfillment, excitement, and joy. Apps and services promise to remove the boredom of data entry and tracking your email. Even people seem to talk about themselves so that you can see how entertaining and […]
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If you’re living well, if you have a purpose that challenges you, if you have a partner you find sexy, wild, and alluring, you will be constantly failing. Not because you aren’t good enough, smart enough, or likable enough. You will be failing because you will be continuously pushed by your life, your purpose, and […]
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This is part six of a seven part series. Read Part One Here. Read Part Two Here. Read Part Three Here. Read Part Four Here. Read Part Five Here. Read Part Six Here. Almost everyone I meet seems to think they know how to run a meeting. The startup founders I coach are convinced that […]
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This is part six of a seven part series. Read Part One Here. Read Part Two Here. Read Part Three Here. Read Part Four Here. Read Part Five Here. Almost everyone I meet seems to think they know how to run a meeting. The startup founders I coach are convinced that their ability to guide […]
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This is part five of a seven part series. Read Part One Here. Read Part Two Here. Read Part Three Here. Read Part Four Here. Almost everyone I meet seems to think they know how to run a meeting. The startup founders I coach are convinced that their ability to guide a process is better […]
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This is part four of a seven part series. Read Part One Here. Read Part Two Here. Read Part Three Here. Almost everyone I meet seems to think they know how to run a meeting. The startup founders I coach are convinced that their ability to guide a process is better than almost anyone else. […]
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This is part three of a seven part series. Read Part One Here. Read Part Two Here. Almost everyone I meet seems to think they know how to run a meeting. The startup founders I coach are convinced that their ability to guide a process is better than almost anyone else. The coaches I work […]
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This is part two of a seven part series. Read Part One Here. Almost everyone I meet seems to think they know how to run a meeting. The startup founders I coach are convinced that their ability to guide a process is better than almost anyone else. The coaches I work with are no different, […]
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Almost everyone I meet seems to think they know how to run a meeting. The startup founders I coach are convinced that their ability to guide a process is better than almost anyone else. The coaches I work with are no different, they feel their ability to listen and reflect makes them master facilitators. And […]
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We often wait for the right environment to declare. It’s sort of like we have a seed and we’re waiting for the right environment to plant it. Except we don’t really know what kind of plant we’re growing. All we have is this seed, a small hard object, with potential. When we develop the courage […]
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Have you ever wanted to do something for years but can’t seem to find the time? The event is compelling, the trip inspiring, but the timing just isn’t right? For years I’ve wanted to attend Seth Godin’s altMBA. I heard about the potent impact it has on people, but I could never find the time. […]
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I stand at the top of a hill staring down into the ocean Which pulls and presses at the smooth rock below This green-blue void has eaten away the earth What does nature want? The snow piles up on the back of ducks in a lake It weighs down the branches Of mighty proud oaks […]
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Why You Don’t Believe In Your Husband/Boyfriend’s Crazy Idea “He’s got this incredible vision for the future, but the problem is that I just don’t believe in it. It feels like a pipe dream and I feel like I can’t tell him that.” Her face was so earnest and I could tell how much she […]
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It’s always easier to wait. For the other person to say I love you. For the other person to apologize. For the other person to admit how they’ve been wrong and stupid and childish But don’t do the easy thing go first Say I love you. Even if you’re not sure they’ll say it back. […]
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Mostly people create from limitation or from dreams. Both are powerful, but both ignore the possibility of the other side. When we live in dreams we imagine more freedom means better, when we live from limitation we think more clear boundaries means better. But seeking safety in a world that’s never safe or absolute freedom […]
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Most people would be willing to write a book if they knew it was going to be a bestseller. Most people would be willing to go on a blind date if they knew they would fall in love. Most people would even be willing to run into a burning building if they knew they could […]
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Our system of justice is adversarial. The state tries to convict the accused of their crimes, the defense tries to protect the accused by challenging the state’s case. It’s through this system we have decided that justice is done. Many people use a similar process in their lives. They make an accusation against the world. […]
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I get it, we all want things to go a particular way. We get this image in our heads about how things might go, we dream, or we imagine. Part of what makes us so incredible is our ability to imagine, plan, and execute. Just look at the pyramids, the Suez canal, the vast and […]
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For most of my twenties stuff just happened to me. I got fired from my sweet touring job because the drummer was an asshole. My girlfriend broke up with me because some guy snaked her out from under me. My car broke down because some asshole wanted me to drive on a bumpy road with […]
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I’ve been thinking a lot about the choice to let go of something. Hope, people I care about, how I want things to be… SOMETIMES LETTING GO SEEMS EASY I recently took Facebook off of my phone and Ipad. I rarely go on to check it, just to post and share. This didn’t feel that […]
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Recently I turned 40 and I was thinking a lot about my life and everything I experienced. And while I share a lot about myself online there are still many things people don’t know about me. So to commemorate my birthday I’m going to share 40 things you may not know about me. I hope […]
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For most of high school, I thought many of my teachers were idiots. I didn’t think they were bad at teaching, it’s just that I thought many of the assignments they gave us were pointless: rote memorization, filling out worksheets, papers on inconsequential topics, etc. My life was filled with pointless stupid assignments I was […]
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Last year I got a clear message from God, or the universe, or whatever you want to call it, that I needed to do a 9-month dating diet. And so that’s what I did. For 9 months I didn’t engage with women romantically. Not only that, I even paused some friendships where the energy was […]
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In some ways, leadership is incredibly simple. Leadership is about guiding the future by using the tools of your past. You decide what matters from a place deeper than your ego. Figure out how to make an impact on it. Use your wits, experience, and relationships to make that impact in a sensible and sustainable […]
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No one signs their name anymore. Not really. We make a half-assed squiggle with our finger on a digital screen. We scribble our name on documents, the letter collapsing and falling over. I’m the worst at this. Except when I went to vote by mail. Then my signature was pristine, perfect, and crisp. I wrote […]
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Many people think about leadership as a process or a method. If I input X then I can get my team to give me Y. And that might be true if the people you were leading were simply robots; easy to program and decode. But the nature of leadership is that it’s messy humans leading […]
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Anti-vaccination posts. Anti-mask posts. Posts about Bill Gates being a Lizard King Posts that spread racist or sexist ideas You see them all the time. You don’t agree with them. But what do you do about them? This question comes up for me all the time. And each time I’m torn. On the one hand, […]
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