What We Don’t Talk About

Recently, I’ve been noticing a trend in the amazing and breathtaking clients I work with. They always want to talk about the same things. They want to talk about their potential clients, their business ideas, and their teams.

But 9/10, it’s never the areas they want to discuss that yield the biggest insights for them or have the biggest impact on their businesses, which has led me to this simple, but powerful, distinction.

Normal topics yield normal results; unconventional topics yield unconventional results.

And if you’re anything like my clients, I want you to know I get it. I understand why you want to talk about the normal things. You want to talk about them, because they feel safe. You want to talk about them, because the familiarity of these problems soothe your brain, even if they cause a little stress.

These topics give you the comfort of feeling like you’re taking action, even if the action you’re taking isn’t the action that will have a lasting effect on the problems you face.

The things you aren’t talking about are scary. It’s that bump on your shoulder that appeared a month ago that you know you should call the doctor about; it’s the client relationship you secretly know isn’t serving you, but you don’t know how to deal with; it’s the deal that is going slowly south, but you’re afraid to admit you made a mistake; it’s the pattern in your relationship you know isn’t sustainable, but you have no idea how to address, because doing so will rock a boat you’re already worried might take on water.

And I know you know that the longer you leave those things, the worse they will get. The longer you don’t talk about them, the more money you risk, the shakier the relationship gets, and the more the fear builds that, by now, it’s surely too late to make a difference.

You like to tell yourself stories about how you don’t have enough time, about how you’ll talk about it after you get through this week or quarter, how you’ll take care of it when your schedule lightens up. I know these stories are the thinnest veils of personal subterfuge, and that you know it too.

So, here is my simple invitation to you. Instead of making these topics a personal taboo, instead of trying to fit them into the edges of your life, which means they won’t fit in until they explode and demand your attention, make discussing the abnormal normal.

Make time every week to talk about the things you aren’t talking about in your business and your life. Find a coach, a mastermind, a consultant, or even a close friend and sit down and tell them what I really don’t want to talk about is . . . and then take it from there.

If you do this practice, not only will your business grow and your relationships improve, but you’ll slowly learn the courage to face the things in your life you don’t want to face.