teachers

by Toku on Mindset

What Made My Heart Explode

WOW!
 There are moments  when the universe blows us away. Something clicks and boundless gifts, joy, and hope flow into our lives.

Sometimes blessings come after an accomplishment like:
-winning a race
-hitting our goal weight
– or finishing a long journey

Sometimes they arrive out of the blue like:
-receiving a thoughtful gift
-having a moment of clarity
– or meeting a new friend

No matter what the source, these moments are rich opportunities to practice gratitude. When we take our joy and give it back, it multiplies exponentially.

Young woman enjoying winter

I Believe in Yesterday
Yesterday was a day of joy for me. I had a guest post on TinyBuddha.com, and the number of subscribers I had more than doubled.

I am humbled and honored that so many people are interested in what I have to offer. In this moment, my heart is bursting with gratitude and joy.

I realized that this joy had not come only from my own efforts. I had to share this amazing feeling with those who have supported me. So I set out to do just that and this is what I came up with:

The 5 Steps of Gratitude
Step 1 – Thank Your Mind and Heart
We rely on our hearts and minds to do so much hard work. Yet, these parts rarely receive direct gratitude from us.

The first thing I did was close my eyes and offer gratitude to that which is within me.
As my mind and heart received this thanks I felt them relax in appreciation.

Step 2 – Thank Your Parents
The Buddha said, even if you were to carry you parents around, on your shoulders, for a hundred years plus, you could never repay them for their deep kindness.

So, I sent an e-mail to my folks. I shared my excitement and thanked them for their support. If your relationship with you parents is rocky, you can thank them silently or in a less direct way. The important thing is to acknowledge the energy that brought you into this world.

Step 3 – Thank Your Teachers
Whether it’s a college professor, spiritual guide, or friend who gives you great advice, it’s important to thank your teachers. Great teachers affect us in obvious and subtle ways. They guide us, inspire us, and bless us with wisdom.

I owe so much to my teachers Sensei Hogen Bays and Jan Chozen Bays Roshi. Studying with them opened my eyes to the possibilities of the world and to my own potential. Everything we learn was passed down to us. It’s important to acknowledge the shoulders we stood on to get here.

Step 4 – Thank Your Partner and Friends
No successful person can succeed alone. It takes so much support from others to do anything.

The first phone call I made was to my partner Jane Endacott. She has supported me in so many ways. She reads my blog, edits my posts, and tells me she is proud of me. In addition, she does all sorts of little things to support me.

My friends offer me guidance, hold me accountable, and show me I’m loved and accepted. This week I’m going to make sure to connect and thank each of them.

It doesn’t matter if you’re single or coupled; whether you have one or a hundred friends; it’s important to let them know how much they mean to you.

Step 5 – Thank Your Community
Your community might be a spiritual group, business colleagues, your family, or any other group that supports you.Communities support us by giving us a space to explore ourselves.

I sent out an email of thanks and celebration to Zen Community of Oregon as well as my yoga schoolmates at the Bhaktishop. Without the support of practice and the shared wisdom of these groups, I would be lost.

Bonus Step – Thank Anyone Else
As you start to think about who and what you are grateful for many people may come to mind. Take this chance when your heart is full to say thank you to whomever it is that makes your life possible. 

MindFitMove Practice
–Think of a blessing you have received recently, big or small it doesn’t matter.
–Make a short list of people, groups, or energies that helped make this blessing possible.
–Make a vow to express gratitude to everyone or everything on your list.

What are you thankful for?

 
by Toku on Skillset

Talking Your Way Through A Mindfield

Man walking through mudSpeaking In A Minefield
Speaking is like walking through a minefield blindfolded. We are so focused on ourselves we often fail to see that our words have blown up. Our meaning has been scattered to the winds but we are none the wiser.

Here are three communication mines we face, as teachers, students, managers, and employees.

1. Confidence
The correct amount of confidence is tricky. Have too much confidence and you lose connection. Have too little confidence and no one listens.

You have to be honest about what you don’t know. At the same time, you have to feel ok about your limitations.

When I work with my teaching partner in Yoga school, I notice that I’m most effective when I’m calm, but not cocky. Whenever I think I know exactly what to do, I lose her.

Confidence has to do with our ability to be aware and present. When I’m attentive and focused, I give clear directions.

Life is more than just knowing it all. Experience is great but only when it gives us more space to be present.

2. Projection
We usually project what we want to see. We miss all the things that make others unique. Without this data, we can never connect with them.

Nevertheless, I’ve found some projection is necessary for effective communication.

When directing someone into a Yoga pose you have to project your own understanding of the movements onto your student. At the same time, you have to hold an awareness of how your words are affecting their body.

This balancing act is present in all communication. If we notice our words losing impact it’s great to check in on how we are projecting and whether or not it’s working.

3. Frustration/confusion
As a teacher, my students don’t owe me anything. As a friend, employee, or even manager the same is true.

Having authority can lead us to believe we are entitled to be listened to. However, this attitude is rarely helpful.

Instead, we must try to make our communication accessible.

When I was working with my Yoga partner I noticed frustration arising when I gave a direction and she didn’t do anything.

She may have been following the instruction already. She may have not understood. She may have thought my directions were wrong.

Why she didn’t move doesn’t matter. My job as her teacher is to make my directions work for her. This asks me to I invite rather than command her to act.

In every situation, we should always work towards invitation. This has more to do with the attitude we bring than the words we use.

The key is remembering that we are indebted to our listener. They have given us their attention. We must repay this gift with the calm attention and clarity.

MindFitMove Practice
– Think of something you’d like to communicate to someone: A partner, friend, co-worker, student, or boss.
– Take a few minutes and write out exactly what you want to say.
– Then put this aside for a couple hours or a couple of days.
– When you come back too it read it out loud to yourself.
– Try reading it with confidence and then with uncertainty.
– Try reading it imagining their face in a scowl and then in a smile.
– Try reading it as a demand and then as an invitation.
– Then reflect of these tests and rewrite the phrase.
– Finally try expressing this idea to them keeping in mind the 3 mines you learned about in this post.