April 2, 2013 by Toku on Skillset

Make It Up: How to Become an Expert at Anything

Preperation Makes Perfect?

We often mistake perfect preparation for perfect performance. Preparation is important, but it can be limiting.

We get fixated on an idea when we prepare or over prepare. We get an image in our minds of how things are going to be. And we think to be happy it must happen exactly like this.

The Best Laid Plans

Let me give you an example. We’ve begun planning whole classes in yoga school. We were assigned to write three sequences around a peak pose and teach them to our partner.

So, I wrote each sequence with care. I made sure they were balanced and challenging. Then I spent some time reviewing each sequences. I felt ready to go.

Game Time

When I met with my yoga schoolmate the first sequence went great. I was clear, confident, and she responded well. But the on the second sequence things got confusing.

I was reading the sequence off Evernote on my phone. Somehow, I scrolled incorrectly and realized that I was teaching part of the first sequence again.

I wasn’t sure what to do. Do I stop her and go back? Do I keep going? Do I do the first sequence again?

Act With Faith

In that moment, I could have gotten anxious, stumbled over my words, and given up. The image of how I thought it would go wasn’t matching reality.

Instead, I put down the phone and taught a modified version of the second sequence. I made sure she was balanced on both sides. I added some things in. I left some things out.

Later I apologized, but she told me she hardly noticed. I was able to do this because I wasn’t attached to the outcome.

What the Pros Do

Now, I’m not an expert yoga instructor, but this is what an expert would do. What makes an expert an expert isn’t their ability to follow a script.

It’s their ability to rely on their experience and have faith in themselves. Acting on this faith means stepping forward with the confidence that things will work out.

Mindful Movement

This is what being mindful in movement is all about. When we become curious about our bodies and movement, only then can transformation happen. Talking about engaging the core is nothing compared to actually feeling it engage.

But we must pay attention and move with careful confidence. If we do this, then we can become experts of ourselves. Moreover, this knowledge becomes the ground for our ability to help others.

MindFitMove Practice
Pick an upcoming race, event, conversation, or assignment you have.
Decide what would be a reasonable amount of time to spend preparing.
Write down what your intention is for that activity.
Just one sentence, no more.
Get to work; set a time and track your progress.
Once you hit the allotted time stop preparing.
Just before you start your race, event, conversation or turn in your assignment, read or recite the following:

Letting go of the outcome, I will – Your activity –
(run this race, talk to this person)
With the intention of – your intention-
(improving my health, being kind)
I have faith in my ability to respond with skill.
Being present is the best preparation.

If you try this out let me know how it goes.

Let’s Talk: How do you like to prepare?
Comment below and let me know.

March 31, 2013 by Toku on Skillset

Rebirth: 3 Steps to a New You

Easter
So this is Easter. A celebration of new life and miraculous events.

No matter what your faith it’s a great opportunity to harness the energy of this holiday

In that spirit I give you
3 Simple Steps to a New You.

1. Death
Take out a pen and write down one thing about yourself your ready to lay to rest.

It can be a habit, a memory, a grudge, a guilt. Anything you want to let go of.

2.Birth
Next write down the new thing you want to be born to take it’s place.

It can be new habit, a new approach to life, a new feeling. Anything you want to manifest.

3.Vow
Then write the following statement:

This year I vow to let go of __________ by looking into it deeply and then letting it go.

To support this vow I will give birth to ________ by facing my fears and embracing a new way.

Repeat step 3, three times a week the first thing after you wake up for 30 days.

Rebirth
We are being born and dying all the time. But if we don’t set the intention to change we will be reborn with the same patterns.

Take the spirit of easter and spring to plant the seeds of a new way of being.

March 28, 2013 by Toku on Mindset

A Extra Weekly Run Saved My Relationship

Tips for Transformation In Relationship

I started saying, “You know it might be helpful if…”

But she interrupted me, “I know what you’re going to say; you think it would be better if we ran alone.”

I knew I had hit a nerve.

We both knew my goal pace was faster than hers. But maybe it came off sounding like my goal pace was to get away from her.

No matter what, it was clear we had to come up with a solution. We did eventually, but I’ll come back to that.

The Partnership

Changing your life can be hard on your partner. No matter how supportive they are, it tends to create tension.

It’s wonderful that you’ve started meditating, exercising, or learning a new language. But this shift can bring up fear for your partner.

Fear

This fear is very natural. Most people have had a relationship end, soon after their partner changed in some way. Even though that may be the last thought in your head, your partner isn’t in your head.

Your partner may feel neglected in your quest for a better self. They might be scared by the new direction of your life. They may wonder if there’s a place in it for your relationship.

This fear can bring up some of these thoughts:

All he talks about is triathlons. Am I not good enough?
Does she think she’s better than me?
More vegetables? What’s wrong with what we cooked before?
I feel like every time he leaves for a run he’s judging me.
If she wants to do new things, maybe she will want to be with a new woman?

You Need Back Up

Making changes are hard enough without having your partner sabotage you. So if you are going to be successful. You will need their help. Or at least their passive consent.

So here are the keys to making your journey of transformation jive with your relationship.

Acknowledge

Make sure you acknowledge the things you love about your partner. Let them know you appreciate how they contribute to your life. Pay special attention to the little things they do that may go unnoticed.

Don’t Judge

Let them know you aren’t judging them for not being vegetarian or for not working out. Let them know you love them and that you are changing so you can be a better person and partner.

Don’t Get Preachy

Don’t get preachy about your new changes. Just work on yourself. If your partner sees it working for you, they might ask for support to make their own change.

Be Clear on Why

Explain to your partner why you are making these changes. If you are clear about your intentions, it will assuage many of their fears. It may even garner their support.

Togetherness Time

Make time and space to spend time together. This how my partner and I found our solution.

We would do our long run separately, but we would warm up and cool down together. We would also do a bonus ‘Togetherness Run” on Friday so we could spend time talking about our week.

MindFitMove Practice

If you are in a relationship, have a family, or just have a less active friend, sit down and talk about a healthy way to spend time together.

Share ideas like going on a hike, going for walks, and see what sounds good.

The goal is to find a healthy way to get active and spend time with each other.

Make an effort to meet them where they are. You aren’t likely to convert your partner to CrossFit, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find something that will make you both happy.

Photo Credits

March 26, 2013 by Toku on Mindset

Does this make my abs look good?: The Top 4 Male Body Image Issues

That Dude is as Ripped as a Coupon
When I go online and look at other trainers, I think ‘man I look like a scrawny wuss.’

This isn’t true. I’m actually in excellent shape. I’m not ‘ripped’ per se but I have very low body fat, I run endurance races, and am suprisingly strong for my size.

Still I feel pressure to be leaner, more defined, and more muscular. I’ve considered losing weight, going on a more restrictive diet, or even increasing my workouts. I don’t really need to do any of this.

But it’s hard not to think about it when I see pictures like this all day long.

So in honor of all my fitness brothers out there I give you:

The Top 4 Male Body Image Issues
Why they’re a big deal? and why they’re stupid?

1. I Don’t Have 6 Pack Abs –
Just search for 6-pack abs on Google and you get millions of results, thousands of tips, and hundreds of programs.

What’s the big deal?
6-Pack abs are hard to get and maintain. Thus, for many they are the holy grail of fitness.

6-Pack abs have become short hand for sexy. They are essentially the male form of cleavage.

Why they’re stupid?
To have a 6-pack you need 1) low body fat and 2) strong rectus abdominus muscles.

A 6 pack often requires stupidly low body fat. Which is fine unless you’re making yourself miserable then it’s probably not worth it.

As for muscles the rectus abdominus is only good for one thing, doing crunches. The other abdominal muscles do a better job of supporting the spine and core. So you’d be better off focusing on those for overall health and fitness

2. I’m Balding-
Hair = youth = sexiness

Why it’s a big deal?
For many men balding is first sign of aging. It also brings up images of comb-overs, toupees, Donald Trump, and our fathers. We think women don’t like balding men.

Why it’s stupid?
Many women like bald men. And there are many examples of attractive bald men, take Patrick Stewart (Jean Luc you sexy bastard). Balding is only awkward if you attempt to hide it.

3. I’m Not Very Tall –
Height is one of the few features that is still socially acceptable to mock. As a compact human it seems like I’m expected to laugh along with the jokes. Making fun of fat people isn’t funny and neither is making fun of ‘short’ people.

Why it’s a big deal?
We are sold the image of a tall dark handsome man holding a smaller dainty woman. Even short movie stars are filmed to look taller. For many women and men height equals masculinity. Even my current partner said she wasn’t interested at first because I wasn’t taller than her.

Why it’s stupid?
You have no control over your height. There are plenty of women who won’t care. If you don’t make it a big deal, then it isn’t. Will some women not date you? Yes, but there are women you won’t date for equally silly reasons.

4. The Body Image Issue That Shall Not be Named
You know what I’m talking about . Guys worry it’s not big enough. Or that it abnormal in some way.

Why it’s a big deal?
Because you don’t know where you stand. You can read statistics, but it’s not the same. Because it’s a secret you worry.

Why it’s stupid?
If it’s exceptionally big or small it may be worthy of note. But realistically you’re probably average. If you do fear inadequacy, then develop other skills. Whether it’s true or not, it can’t hurt to have good ground game.

MindFitMove Practice

Find a big mirror, full length if possible.
Take off all your clothes.
Take a nice long look at your body.
Notice your critical voice arising.
Notice the areas of negative focus.
Then focusing on those parts one at a time.
Tell them how much you appreciate them.
Talk to them like underappreciated workers.
Put your clothes back on.
Look in the mirror and say,

I am a sexy man.
I am attractive.
I am not my body.
When I die, I want to be remembered for what I did, not how I looked.

Remember No one’s tombstone is inscribed with.
Here lies John. He died 6 foot 4, with a six pack, and a full head of hair.
There is more to life then looking good.

Photo Credits

March 14, 2013 by Toku on Skillset

Are You Making These 4 Simple Communication Mistakes?

The Yoga Whisperer
Language is something we take for granted. Often we get out wires crossed between our mind and our mouth. It’s important to pay attentio to what we say. Otherwise we give confusing instructions or say things we don’t mean.

This week at yoga school, my partner and I had to teach each other a warm up sequence. For the most part, it went really well. But on a few occasions, our words missed the mark.

Luckily, I was paying attention and I was able to make the following list:

Four Ways That Communication Fails
(and four ways to clarify what you mean.)

1. We Lack a Shared Vocabulary –
Before meeting my partner, I was practicing warm-ups with some friends. Both people were smart, but not into yoga. Still, I was surprised when they didn’t understand the instruction, “flex your foot.”

We sometimes assume everyone know what we know. If they don’t we grow impatient. Often we ignore their confusion or we just give up.

How to Fix It:
When you notice confusion arise stop, take a deep breath, and try again. Doing this creates the space for meaningful communication.

In this case, I took a deep breath. Then I said, “Move your toes up towards your shin.” They got it instantly and we were able to keep going.

2. We Take Our Words for Granted –
This week my yoga partner asked me to repeat a certain movement. I wanted to do it, but I couldn’t.

She was asking me to bounce in a stretch. (Bouncing in a stretch is a big no-no) But I wasn’t sure what to say.

We sometimes fail to reflect on the words we use. Words can mean so many different things to different people. We have to mindful of what we say.

How to Fix It:
Awareness of how words are being received is the way to prevent this.

In this case, She saw I was conflicted. She stopped and clarified what she meant.

Once we had talked about it, she understood my concerns. And I understood what she was trying to do.

3. We Go Too Fast –
While teaching my partner, I noticed myself rushing. Sometimes my partner got my cues, but sometimes she didn’t. I became unsure of how to proceed.

We all love to be efficient, but it’s easy to set a quick pace. When we speak to others fast rarely equals clear.

How to Fix It:
When you communicate, take your time. Nothing takes longer than confusion. It’s better to slow down the first time through.

I realized I needed to slow down with my partner. I got down and did little demos. I explained each part of the movement. The process helped me understand what to explain and see where I was losing her.

4. We Give Too Much Information –
I was trying to show my partner a hip routine I do with my clients. I thought it would be a great warm up for yoga class. But I forgot how complex it was.

As we were going through it, I noticed my partner stop moving. She was listening, but wasn’t sure what to do.

It’s easy to get caught up in our own agenda. We often think we have so much to say. But if the person can’t take it in, it doesn’t matter what we say.

How to Fix It:
When we communicate, often less is more. It shows respect for our listener and gives greater weight to what we say.

I realized I was saying too many things. When I realized this, I stopped. Then I repeated myself and focusing just on the basics.

As soon as I simplified it, she started doing what I asked with ease.

MindFitMove Practice
– Think about an interaction where miscommunication happened.
– Write down what went wrong and what you think caused the miscommunication
(Hint: Take responsibility for your part in this)
– Write down a strategy you could use next time to express yourself more clearly.

Photo Credits

January 28, 2013 by Toku on Skillset

5 “I’m Too Busy” Exercise Tips

Everyone gets busy. Busy leads to stress. Stress leads to overwhelm. Overwhelm leads to a life out of balance. When things get hectic, being aware becomes a survival skill.

sportsman running on the beach in TelAviv

Get outside, and get moving!

One of the first habits to fall away when we’re busy is exercise. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are 5 tips to keep exercising when you’re busy.

1. Take a new class –

The type of class doesn’t matter. It just needs to be regular. I’ve used this technique to try out boxing, swimming, and crossfit.

The main reason this works is the times are set. Often our day expands to whatever time we have. Classes force us to commit to a block of time, 1 -3 days a week.

(HINT: I don’t recommend getting a gym membership. Here’s why: The big gym business model is based on people not coming. There’s no urgency with a gym. We can always tell ourselves we’ll do it later. With a class, if we don’t go we lose money. )

2. Get a workout buddy –

If I’m the only one expecting me to get up and run at 6am, it won’t last. A workout buddy holds you accountable. They share the struggle with you. They also multiply the joy.

I was talking to a fellow trainer recently about successful transformation. She identified community as one essential factor of transformation.

A workout buddy is a great way to start building that community. It’s also a way to make exercise an act of service. Because you’ll be helping your buddy as much as they are helping you.

3. Short intense workouts –

One way to fit a workout into a busy day is a short intense workout.

Short workouts involve several full body exercises performed one right after another. This gets lots of muscle groups at the same time. It also gets our heart rate going.

One of my favorite ones is what I call the 5 x 10. It’s a set of 3 exercises a squat thrust, a squat jump, and a mountain climber. You perform each exercise 10 times and then go to the next exercise. Then you rest for 60 – 90 seconds and start all over again. You repeat this 5 times.

This routine takes less than 20 – 30 mins, but every time I do it, I’m amazed at how tired I get.

(Click here to watch a video of this routine)

Too Much

Too intense? Bad knees? No problem. You can this technique with any three exercises.

You could do air squats, 5 second planks, and running in place for 30 seconds. You could do two arm dumbbell curls, tricep curls, and lunges.

The important thing is to do 3 exercises back to back. Then take a short break. Repeat 3-10x.

For the best results,

Pick exercises that work more than one part of your body.
Pick exercises that are challenging but within your comfort zone.

4. Exercise first thing in the morning –

I’ve tried exercising at all hours of the day. I’ve found that I enjoy exercise whenever I do it. I’ve also found I’m more consistent if I do it in the morning.

We can never know what the day is going to hold for us. Things are always coming up that eat up time. Often the time that get’s eaten is the time for exercise.

If you are going to exercise early in the day, you might to start getting up earlier. I just read a great article in Zen Habits about how to start this habit.

Leo Babuta recommends that you start by waking up just a few minutes earlier everyday. Shift your waking schedule slowly, so you don’t throw your body out of whack.

5. Create a workout schedule –

Creating a workout schedule seems like a simple thing. Nevertheless, the act of planning makes a huge difference. Just writing down your goals and then recording your progress can keep you on track.

One simple and easy way to start increasing your activity is called a periodization. I used a periodization plan to train for triathlons last year. It’s effective at helping slowly build volume.

It’s a simple. You start with a weekly goal. Say running 20 mins 3x a week. Then you increase that activity by 10% each week for 3 weeks. On the fourth week, you rest and decrease activity by 40%. Then on the fifth week, you increase by 66%.

Ok maybe not that simple. I created a excel spreadsheet that does all the math for you.

You can get it by clicking here.

The beauty of this plan is how simple it is. The downside is how simple it is. It doesn’t take into account cross training, sport specific strength training, or many other factors.

Workout Plan Tips

Always rest a one day a week. The body builds more muscle on rest days then any other.
Respect rest weeks. These weeks are designed to make sure your progress is sustainable.
Start slow with a new exercise plan. Consult your physician, if you have injuries or any cardio vascular or respiratory illness.

Conclusion

By using these 5 tips, you can make exercise part of your daily life. When we are busy, it’s more important than ever to stay active.

Some activities, like meditation, spending time with loved ones, and exercise, create more time. When we engage in self-care, we get more space, clarity, and energy. These mean a smoother day and a more efficient, happier you.

Don’t let your busy life throw you off balance. Be creative and find a way to bring moments of stillness and movement into your life everyday.

January 2, 2013 by Toku on Mindset

Gregorian Calendars Are Stupid

You see sister, we made it all up!

Most resolutions don’t last more than a couple of months. A good rule for life is to stop making rules, especially ones that don’t work. Here are 5 reasons your resolutions won’t work and 5 practices that actually might.

1. I Resolve to Be Miserable.

If your resolution is to stop eating sugar or watching TV you’ll probably have a hard time. You’re basically resolving to not do things you enjoy. You can’t get anywhere by rejecting who you are. Instead you need to learn to honor and then co-opt these parts of yourself.

MindFitMove Practice: Instead of asking yourself to reject parts of yourself find a way to embrace other parts of yourself. Try to do more of what you love, especially if it’s something that leads to more balance.

If you love cycling, then try to cycle once a week for a month. If you love making fresh kale, then make a new kale dish every week for a month. Seeking misery leads to misery. Instead, seek the joys that lead to a mindful and balanced life.

2. It’s A Can’t Do Attitude

In the world of non-violent communication requests should be clear, doable, and on a reasonable time scale. If you couldn’t ask your partner or friend to promise it, then don’t resolve it.

“Sweetie would you be willing to stop eating sugary snacks?” This is not a doable request. It’s unclear what a sugary snack might be and how long the promise is being made for.

Try this instead, “Sweetie, for the next month, would you be willing to have a piece of fruit instead of ice cream after dinner?” In the second example the request is clear, doable, and on a reasonable timetable.

MindFitMove Practice: Take one ‘resolution’ and turn it into a doable request with a reasonable time scale. Remember that a reasonable time scale is different for everyone. If you are quitting smoking it may be one day, if it’s taking a new class it may be one month. Experiment and find what works for you.

3. Getting To No!

Adults rely too heavily on NO! It’s the first word many children learn, because it’s the word they hear most often. When I was a preschool teacher I learned that saying NO! to kids doesn’t work very well. Instead we always tried to find something we could say YES! to.

MindFitMove Practice: Instead of setting a strict rule that says NO! NO! NO! find one that says YES! Instead of saying no to snacking, say yes to snacking on more veggies and fruit. If you eat a piece of fruit half way between each meal, you will likely eat less sugary snacks and fruit has quite a bit of healthy sugar in it.

4. No Reflection? Maybe You’re A Vampire

Many people make resolutions without asking 2 important questions:

1. What will I get/be if I maintain this practice?

2. What will I have to give up to make this practice work?

Making changes is hard, but often resolutions are made in the spur of the moment or without much planning. People don’t take the time to consider what it takes to transform their life. Instead of making short hand resolutions, make plans for life long transformation.

MindFitMove Practice: Instead of making a resolutions, set aside some time to write down 3 things you’d like to do this year. Agree to sit down and write down these goals and answer the 2 questions above. Then decide if the answer to the first question is worth the answer to the second. If it is, remind yourself of this often. If it isn’t, pick some new goals you are prepared to do.

5. The Transformation Will Not Be Scheduled

Like the title of this post indicates, the schedule for your transformation is not Gregorian. Your transformation happens on your own schedule and pace. A better time to start might be February, June, Or September. The best time is the time when you do start with full awareness.

This isn’t an excuse to encourage you to procrastinate, but if this is a bad time or if you are already transforming then maybe something new won’t help.

Try and be honest with yourself. Maybe you feel more motivated to exercise when it’s warmer so start your workout program on the first day of spring. Maybe you are exhausted from visiting family; give yourself a few weeks to rest before you take on a new challenge.

MindFitMove Practice: Cycles are important to reflect on your progress, but they aren’t always your best guides. The key to life long transformation is mindfulness and awareness. Use these tools to asses what is a reasonable and doable for you. No matter what you decide, focus on being mindful. If you decide not to change your eating habits, notice what that’s like. If you decide to change the way you eat, notice what that’s like.

What’s Next?

My goal is to support people walking the path of transformation. These 5 practices will help you get started, but transformation takes time and practice.

If you are ready to take the next step, there are 2 easy ones to take

1. Sign Up For the Mindful Fitness Movement Blog

You get a FREE eBook A Zen Buddhist Guide to Fitness just for signing up and at least 3 times a week you will get mindfulness practices, advice, and encouragement to support your path of transformation.

2. Join the Mindful Fitness Movement Team

As a member of the team you will get:

1. Free – A Zen Buddhist Guide to Fitness – upon Signing Up

2. Free – Awareness eBook– on the 15^th of January

3. Discounts – on a new eBook every month on the 15^th

4. Answers to questions about your Mindful Fitness practice via email or Skype.

December 13, 2012 by Toku on Mindset

What’s one thing you’ll never hear a personal trainer admit?

Ok I can’t believe I’m saying this, but working out is no fun at all. Am I right here people?

Sometimes when I go to work out I just don’t feel like it. Then my muscles start burning, I’m breathing really heavily, and everything kind of aches. It feels a little bit like I’m dying and not in the Sylvia Plath sense.

People who are “into fitness” don’t like to admit they feel like this, but we do. We like to act like it’s fun and enjoyable which it is, but it also sucks. We don’t tell other people this because it’s hard to explain to anyone why we would do something so arduous. If we admitted this they would ask why we encourage others to do the same thing? Are you guys like sadists or something?

There is this idea in the fitness world and in society that everything should be fun light and easy. When you see work out commercials on TV those people are having a blast doing puncherobics or taicyling or whatever. When you see people working out for real often they have this look like someone just stole their milk money and shoved them in a locker.

So why do I work out? Because I know that it makes me feel better. Counter intuitive right?
When I work out my brain works better, my moods are less extreme, food tastes better, sex is better, and I just feel better day-to-day.

Even after a hard workout that kicked my booty I feel much better than I did before. There is something thoroughly satisfying about being completely used by my efforts. Discomfort and fatigue force me to be in my body to be in this moment to get out of my head and into THIS INTENSE EXPERIENCE!

That’s why I love to exercise even when I can’t stand it. So go ahead and admit that working out is hard. It’s supposed to be that way. That’s why it’s called working out instead of hanging out. It’s work.

Once you’ve done that then get out there and run, swim, bike, skate until you feel exhausted. We all have to do unpleasant things sometimes, but exercising mindfully is one occasionally unpleasant thing that actually makes almost everything else a little better.

December 10, 2012 by Toku on Skillset

How does fierce compassion work? – Mantra practice

Photo By FiDalwood

A Question From a Derby Queen

In my last post I began answering a question by Amanda Risser a spiritual practitioner and roller derby queen.

My initial response to her was too long for one post so here is the second part.

Here is a brief recap of her question:

Here’s my current challenge:
– I am working on being more effective at performing the kinds of blocking and hitting that exists in my sport.

– I struggle with finding a place within myself to draw the kind of energy that is helpful in doing so.

– My blocks and hits are suffering from over thinking and hesitation. They need to be more fluid and easy. Some of this will come with more practice and skill; the rest needs to come from a different connection between body and brain.

– Many of my teammates work on this by vocalizing or imagining they are hitting someone they hate, or visualizing some kind of animal that helps them connect with the aggression.

I don’t feel comfortable harming someone I hate (and can’t figure out if there is anything or anyone I ‘hate’ anyway) and visualizing an animal being aggressive doesn’t help, and actually gets in the way! (…) I think that I’m a better contact sport player the more I take care to be an excellent sportswoman, teammate, opponent which seems more controlled and responsible than a wild dog. Compassion and care is wrapped up in there somewhere but I’m having a hard time untangling it.

Any thoughts?

Zen Masters
Zen masters through the ages have been anything but gentle and often their actions helped their students achieve awakening. These masters had high intentions when they acted in a fierce way. In addition they also used fierce compassion with a great amount of skill.

First, it’s important to set down what your intentions are for your roller derby. When writing down intentions don’t just state the obvious.

For example if you are trying to exercise more you might say, “I exercise more so that I can be in better shape.” Instead try to think about why you want to be in shape.

Maybe you want to live longer to spend time with your family. Maybe you want to look better so you will feel more confident. Maybe you want to block better so you can support your team. Whatever your deeper intentions are write those down.

Make a Mantra
Then once you have those intentions try writing a simple dedication, prayer, or motto that states those intentions.

One dedication I have used is,

“I am as impermanent as everything else. Nothing I will do can change this. I dedicate the merit of my effort to the freeing of all living beings. May my every action embody my deep vows, strengthen my mind, and open my heart.”

Next extend your dedication using mantra practice.

For example, when I am cycling uphill on my bike, I chant internally, “Transforming karma, I ride for the dharma!” This mantra extends my intention to spread compassion through my actions.

When I use this mantra, I find I am more present with both the pain and the joy of a challenging task. The mantra helps me not think too much about the discomfort. In addition it brings my intention and actions into alignment.

Make It Situational

Try to create a mantra you can say each time you block a person. For starters you could try the loving kindness mantras: may you be free from suffering.

Try striking on the last word for emphasis. If that’s too long you might try a shortened version. You might just say, “BE FREE!”

It doesn’t really matter what words you use so long as they:

Are simple and easy to remember.
Resonate with your hearts desire.

If you were to combine the two practices of intention setting and mantras I believe you will be able to overcome your hesitation.

The most important thing is that you be clear about your intentions and then use tools that are in alignment with them. If you can do that any practice you engage in will help to free yourself and those around you from suffering.

December 6, 2012 by Toku on Skillset

How does fierce compassion work? – Visualization

So here is the question the was posed to me recently by a spiritual practitioner and roller derby queen Amanda Risser:

Here’s my current challenge:
– I am working on being more effective at performing the kinds of blocking and hitting that exists in my sport.
– I struggle with finding a place within myself to draw the kind of energy that is helpful in doing so.
– My blocks and hits are suffering from over thinking and hesitation. They need to be more fluid and easy. Some of this will come with more practice and skill; the rest needs to come from a different connection between body and brain.
– Many of my teammates work on this by vocalizing or imagining they are hitting someone they hate, or visualizing some kind of animal that helps them connect with the aggression.

I don’t feel comfortable harming someone I hate (and can’t figure out if there is anything or anyone I ‘hate’ anyway) and visualizing an animal being aggressive doesn’t help, and actually gets in the way! My friend thinks of herself as a mean dog with no muzzle and that image just leaves me feeling concerned. I think that I’m a better contact sport player the more I take care to be an excellent sportswoman, teammate, opponent which seems more controlled and responsible than a wild dog. Compassion and care is wrapped up in there somewhere but I’m having a hard time untangling it. There is a kind of admiration and joy (and also pain!) that I feel when I’m effectively blocked or hit during play. When I can perform the same way and execute an effective and legal block or hit against my opponents, it feels good to help my team, I appreciate the way that it connects me to my body and my strength and I am grateful to the sport and how I am part of a very delightful group of folks engaged in a kind of vigorous and joyful and strong common effort. I feel lucky to have a body right now that can do such cool stuff and know that my body will change: it could change in an instant if I break my leg during play, it will change over time and I won’t be able to skate for ever.

I would love some kind of role models or practice tips or imagery that could be helpful. My friend suggested samurai. I don’t know much about that but my love for derby feels more communal and connecting than I imagine samurai to be but I’m not sure.

Any thoughts?

First I want to thank Amanda for her honesty and her question. I also want to thank her for letting me use her words in my blog.

The world of fitness and sport can at times feel very out of alignment with spiritual practice and a balanced way of living.

One of the reasons I have felt so inspired to help start the mindful fitness movement is that I believe true transformation is possible through awareness and exercise. The current fitness paradigm and sport mentality is built largely on critical commentary, aggressive language, and a subversion of peace for achievement.

I don’t think that this is the way it has to be; in fact I think we would be better off with an approach that utilized fierce compassion, motivated affirmation, and loving determination. But let me step down off my soapbox for a minute and address Amanda’s question more directly.

The key to overcoming your hesitation Amanda, lies not in rejection of compassion for something more aggressive. I think it lies in your appreciation of you body and your strength. In your question I can feel the tension between your love of your fellow players and the need to strike them with fervor.

The problem with our view of compassion is that it is often limited to a notion of motherly compassion. We see compassion as necessarily a tender hand and a gentle guiding, but compassion also has a fiercer side.

Think of the mother bear defending her cubs from the wolf. The bear doesn’t hate the wolf, but attacks to protect her cubs alone. One visualization you could use would be of a mother bear knocking away a predator from her cubs.

Another visualization would be to try to see what blocking with compassion might look like. Closing your eyes you might start by visualizing a perfect clean hit. A hit that does its job, but nothing else. There is nothing extra to this hit, no anger, or aggression.

As you come into contact with the other person imagine merit, or white energy, or love passing from you into them. This isn’t the kind of merit, energy, or love that has a gentle hand. This a potent love, like when a good friend tells you a hard truth you need to hear, or perhaps the swift hand of a stranger grabbing you before you step out into traffic.

For a moment your life and their life are in contact. In that moment there is a great and powerful intimacy. Appreciate that closeness and thank them for being so present with you.

Try doing any of these visualizations before your go to bed at night and again before you practice or participate in a match. Whatever we visualize we can realize.

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