– I am working on being more effective at performing the kinds of blocking and hitting that exists in my sport.
– I struggle with finding a place within myself to draw the kind of energy that is helpful in doing so.
– My blocks and hits are suffering from over thinking and hesitation. They need to be more fluid and easy. Some of this will come with more practice and skill; the rest needs to come from a different connection between body and brain.
– Many of my teammates work on this by vocalizing or imagining they are hitting someone they hate, or visualizing some kind of animal that helps them connect with the aggression.
I don’t feel comfortable harming someone I hate (and can’t figure out if there is anything or anyone I ‘hate’ anyway) and visualizing an animal being aggressive doesn’t help, and actually gets in the way! My friend thinks of herself as a mean dog with no muzzle and that image just leaves me feeling concerned. I think that I’m a better contact sport player the more I take care to be an excellent sportswoman, teammate, opponent which seems more controlled and responsible than a wild dog. Compassion and care is wrapped up in there somewhere but I’m having a hard time untangling it. There is a kind of admiration and joy (and also pain!) that I feel when I’m effectively blocked or hit during play. When I can perform the same way and execute an effective and legal block or hit against my opponents, it feels good to help my team, I appreciate the way that it connects me to my body and my strength and I am grateful to the sport and how I am part of a very delightful group of folks engaged in a kind of vigorous and joyful and strong common effort. I feel lucky to have a body right now that can do such cool stuff and know that my body will change: it could change in an instant if I break my leg during play, it will change over time and I won’t be able to skate for ever.
I would love some kind of role models or practice tips or imagery that could be helpful. My friend suggested samurai. I don’t know much about that but my love for derby feels more communal and connecting than I imagine samurai to be but I’m not sure.